Hyperaware of blinking, swallowing, breathing and other stuff, Pure O?

[blueblues]

Hi All

Not really sure what I am hoping to gain from this, maybe just to offload somewhere?

I have had anxiety/panic attacks for years now due to what I realise are 'obsessive thoughts' my GP says it is called pure O so like OCD but without the compulsions.

I am really really struggling with it at the moment. I usually take fluoxetine 20mg but am in the last few weeks of pregnancy so haven't taken it for 6 mths and I am having such a difficult time.

Basically I get something stuck in my head ie I will notice the sensation of blinking and then not be able to stop focusing on the feeling of my eyes then I get anxious because I can't stop thinking about it, which then makes me feel anxious that im not going to be able to stop thinking about it etc etc. This goes on for a few days and then it swaps to something else ie breathing or swallowing. Last night I was awake from 3am having a huge anxiety attack because I got the thought that I suddenly wouldn't be able to stand the light coming through the windows and would lose it and do something crazy

I just feel so exhausted with it all, DH doesn't get it at all and tries to be helpful but I really feel I am having some kind of crisis at the moment. I am dreading the baby coming in case it gets worse and can't stop picturing myself being carted off to the mental hospital because i've boarded all the windows up or something

Anyway thanks for reading if you got this far, just really needed to offload

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Hello Blueblues, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling like this. When is your baby due? It is normal to be exhausted as it is so hard o sleep in the last few weeks of pregnancy - which is doubly annoying as you are desperate forsome quality sleep before the baby comes. Its wen you are awake in the middle of th night that he thoughts find i esiest to get in.
Have you seen your doctor about this. I know that you are off the pills at the moment, but fluoxetine is relatively safe in pregnancy and breastfeeding, and the baby does most of its development in the first few weeks. Even if you do not want to got back on medication your doctor/midwife should know how you are feeling, so that they can be there to help if anything gets worse.