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Adult with food phobia/ishoos

12 replies

YoMoJo · 09/02/2010 09:32

I posted on general health first but have not had any replys so I thought that my post might be more suitable here. (sorry i know it is bad form to have 2 posts running)

DH is a "fussy eater".

As a child he ate very little. His Mum took him to the doctor because all he would eat was peanut butter sandwiches & strawberry yoghurt. Doctor said that it was good it wasn't jam sandwiches & he would out-grow it. Unfortunately his Dad, coming from a big family of Irish emigrants was brought up to believe that wasting food was one of the worst things that you could do. So DH was made to sit at the dinner table until he had finished his dinner. This usually meant he would sit at the table until bedtime. As a result DH is unable to eat any cooked food cold (like party food etc) His Dad also, out of shear desperation force fed him on occasions.

Both DH parents are very sorry for what they put DH through & say it is their one regret about how they brought up their children.

So DH now has a rather unhealthy diet, but until now has managed to maintain weight with exercise but now as he is getting older he is starting to pile on the weight.

He has very limited number of items he can eat & other things that he can only eat a certain way. A couple of times he has attempted to try other things but he just looks at it but cant bring himself to put it near his mouth. The only veg he eats are greens prepared a very specific way & only with a roast dinner. (no fruit) He says he eats only because he is hungry, he never "enjoys" eating. (his words) We both think he has some kind of food phobia but dont really know what to do about it.

Just wondering if this is something that he just has to live with or if there is something that he could do?? His cholestorol must be off the scale!

Anyone been through a similar thing as an adult???

OP posts:
teasle · 09/02/2010 09:42

Would he consider professional intervention, ie therapy, for his food phobia?

YoMoJo · 09/02/2010 10:17

I think he needs some kind of therapy but he thinks he was just born this way, so it cant be fixed.

It would also depend on the therapy, which is why I was posting as we wanted to know what was available. He would see some therapies as Mumbo-Jumbo and other therapies for people with serious issues like abuse - not for people like him who just eat too many chips.

He is getting down about his weight & worried about how his eating will effect the dc. He gets quite stressed when DS1 (2yrs) refuses to eat because he is worried that he will "turn out like him".

OP posts:
willsurvivethis · 09/02/2010 10:41

Maybe CBT wil help him - it is fairly man-friendly because it is all about challenging unhelpful thoughts and putting strategies in place, very little mumbo jumbo.

I'm not surprised he is like this because force feeding is actuall very damaging. Incredibly overwhelming and terrifying to have things pushed down you, it leaves you totally powerless, you may feel you choke etc. It can no doubt be traumatising and it seems to have traumatised your dh.

I have some issues with food and having things near my face as I had something awful forced into my mouth/throat and I can't tolerate things with a certain shape/texture (often vegetables), can't swallow yogurt without chewing it and I can't for example carry a key in my mouth when my hands are full. So I sympathise and I hope your dh will realise it's ok to take himself seriously.

YoMoJo · 09/02/2010 11:27

Will - I am just off to google cbt to see if that is something that would help DH & something he would agree too.

OP posts:
willsurvivethis · 09/02/2010 12:33

I find these guys hard to beat for good information

YoMoJo · 09/02/2010 16:44

Thanks, that is a really good site & I think that is something that DH would consider. He goes through stages of wanting to get help & then denying he has a problem so a slow journey.

OP posts:
YoMoJo · 09/02/2010 16:45

Thanks, that is a really good site & I think that is something that DH would consider. He goes through stages of wanting to get help & then denying he has a problem so a slow journey.

OP posts:
willsurvivethis · 09/02/2010 17:05

Just had another look at it myself after sending you the link (am mostly familiar with the ptsd section ) and noticed that the lay-out is very bloke-y, with graphs and arrows, I think they're on to something

YoMoJo · 10/02/2010 15:31

Thanks will, hope you find the answers you are looking for too

OP posts:
thingamajig · 10/02/2010 23:25

YoMoJo, my husband has also got lots of food issues, he eats no fruit or veg, no dairy, no pasta, no rice, plus lots of other weird stuff. He survived on a diet of marmite toast as a child (though he won't eat that now), and though his parents were sympathetic, boarding school wasn't.
He has had some therapy, accessed through the GP. It was aversion therapy type stuff, and has helped enough that he can now give milk to dd, or put a cereal bowl in the dishwasher. But not with actually eating stuff.
Phobias can be treated with medication, I think usually a low dose anti depressant.
I really hope that you can find something that helps, DH eats sooo unhealthily, it makes me scared that he will have a heart attack and die and leave us alone........

YoMoJo · 12/02/2010 13:43

I have the same fears thingamajig

Our DH sound like they have similar diets although my dh eats dairy and doesnt have any issues about preparing or touching food, just eating it.

A long & slow journey me thinks

OP posts:
sb9 · 12/02/2010 14:02

I am the same too, i wont eat certain things no veg and hate clearing other peoples lates or slop as i call it! I was force fed, my dad used to clamp my head and force it down we would battle at meal times and they were very stressful. I eat more healthily than chips etc but would love for this to go!

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