Kinda feel out of it, a bit lonely

[Natheen]

Hello,

I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl 3 months ago. She is diagnosed with GERD (reflux), its very difficult to get her to drink her milk, she consistenly spits up, wants to be carried, her symptoms sometimes scare the hell of me. I know I'm doing wrong, by comparing her to other babies her age, such a weight, activity, etc. I hate being out of the circle and being abnormal. I don't have too much friends to turn to, my husband is great but he goes to work. And the cold weather is making me feel more lonely. When my husband is here from work in the evening, I love it! In the day, I care for my baby all the time, playing with her, feeding her, changing her diaper and when she sleeps, I come on the computer instead of taking care of myself or sleeping. I am such a go person, that loves to go out and always went out with my husband before the child came into my life. Even though I love my child to death (it took me forever to get pregnant so I know how precious babies are). But I kinda missed when it was just me and husband and we would go on road trips. I can;t really take my child out cuz its cold and I'm not used to taking her alone with the stroller. Plus she needs to be fed every two hours. Any comments?

I think you need to get out with her. Its not too cold really...wrap her up and walk out, even for only half an hour. Is there a reason there needs to be 2 of you for the stroller?

Hi, are you also in Canada? Yea the weather is not that cold but my baby already has reflux issue and I can't handle her getting sick again.

I'm not used to using a stroller and always depended on my husband to put her in the car seat and stroller. What if I take her to the mall and I struggle?

find lots of mum and baby groups, and get out of the house at every opportunity. 3 months was really the point where i just about got myself out - just in time! it's ok to feel nervous and a little bit concerned, but grit your teeth and leave the house. you'll feel miles better once you get used to the practicalities. there's nothing insurmountable, have a go. even for just a little walk at first?

(if it helps, ds1 fed every two hours until he was 10 mos - so i got used to feeding him, changing him, and then leaving the house asap, so that i could hopefully get a cup of tea before he needed feeding again. and dd2 had some quite severe feeding issues which meant she was virtually unable to feed during the day, just scream. the only way i coped was to go out of the house. people were very kind and got used to her little foibles very quickly. she missed all her milestones and was obviously a very 'different' baby but we were always very welcome wherever we went.)

oh, you're in canada me too. where are you?

when ds1 was born (january canadian baby) we used to use a large thich duvet over the top of the car seat handle when outdoors (effectively trapping the air inside the car seat area) to protect his lungs. -30 for a newborn isn't smart! that makes it a bit trickier for walking lol, but you do still need to get out. where are you? are you in a town or very rural?

Your right, I do need to go out, perhaps I should wait till March, when she is a bit older (4 1/2) and hopefully her relux would be a bit better and the weather too. All of you guys r great with your kind words and I do feel a lot better. Thank you so much and god bless you.

My ds has special needs which means he is not walking yet and not speaking much (he's 2) and I could not love him more, he's brilliant fun, but sometimes i see other kids running round and I do compare and get a bit upset. That's fine, it's normal to compare and it won't get in the way of your love for her.

I think your dh needs to help you get confident with the car seat and stroller, pronto - it's not hard you just need a bit of confidence. it is not good to have to rely on him or anyone else for these things.

You will get there. Life with a baby takes getting used to however much you wanted this baby

Practice getting her in and out of the stroller in the house. All new parents feel cack handed when they try and manouvre their babies. She will be fine. Its not good to rely on someone else to do those kinds of things, much better to get confident yourself. I think you should go out tomorrow then report back here

Yes, I will try my very best to take her out tomorrow Thank you everyone.

For a 3 1/2 month old baby you have to put the car seat into the stroller right? you just can't put the baby alone in the stroller, they r just too small right?

Natheen that depends on the stroller - mine could be put all the way flat for the early days. But for most travel systems you need a car seat for the little ones.

Let your dh help you if he knows how - get him to watch you do it rather than him do it while you watch iyswim

Cyb's right practice first. Can you drive? If it's too cold could you drive to a mall a then have a walk around? The longer you leave it the harder it will be. My DD had awful reflux - it does get better .

COCOLEPEW - when did your DD reflux go away? I can drive but my husband takes the car to work.

When she started weaning (I did it earlier than recommended) she was allergic to her formula and we tried different ones, inclding goats milk formula! She was ok on them for a week or 2 and then the same thing happened.