This fear that social services will come and take your children...

[willsurvivethis]

...it worries me!

There seem to be so many women out there who are afraid to seek help for depression and other problems out of fear that they will lose their children.

I have just asked MNHQ if they would consider doing something with this. Because surely if so many of us fear to lose our children something is going wrong somewhere! Surely we should all be albe to seek help with confidence?

What are your thoughts on this? I struggle with PTSD and even told my doctor that I tended to keep emotional distance from my ds when he's ill without even considering the possibility of that having repercussions.

BMilk - I would never for a single minute say that social workers don't "fuck up" of course they do - it is part of the human condition. After I retired from the LA where I worked for 23 years and began working indpendently in an inner city area I was appalled at the quality of the soial work practice. Mind they were running at 30% vacancy rate and had no end of agency workers in, and you can't run a service like that. I felt sorry for the sws as many of them seemed pretty clueless and worse still had managers who were for the most part inexperiences and or incompetent.

I don't think anyone has said or implied that social services are saints or gods and morally superior to others. I try to defend social work bashing threads usually be people who do not understand how the system works but nonetheless seek to make distorted statements and inaccurate inforamtion.

It sounds like you have had a very bad experience - you can complain about SS - they have a complaints procedure and should be made available to anyone who wants it. There are several stages of the procedure, but if you get to a stage 3 complaint, this goes before the Social Services Committee (the politicians) and believe me if they feel you have been treated unjustly, the people responsible will certainly be "on the carpet"

As far as other professionals are concerned I don't think drs are very keen on admitting mistakes and the police can be seen on video assaulting people and get away with it. Even when they kill someone (like the Chilean man who they thought was a bomber) and put 7 shots into his body even when they had him overpowered on the floor of the train.

Did you know that 10,000 people per year die of cancer in this country because of late diagnosis by GPs...........admittednly there is a minority of people in that number who present too late with symptons but the majority is because drs refer to specialists too late.

my social worker is a horrid lady that has been quoting evidence wrongly and not doing as she is supposed to but everyone is listening to her

hmm and you wouldn't be worried

I fucking am

nananina I'm not sure what part of my post gave you the impression that i think know better??
or that i had no knowledge of the child protection system?
I think your post demonstrates just how judgemental and prone to assumptions sw's some people can be.

Moving on...

For the record, my only intention in contributing to this thread is to genuinely try and understand the way the system in going and the HUGE paranoia and back covering that's going on to the detriment of many innocent family's.

It is not a personal attack on you or the way you do your job.

Theratpack as a lawyer I really understand the point that NanaNina is making - that everyone seems to know how social work is done. It wasn't aimed at you - it is a general attitude.

I work with social workers daily - but I have no real clue about all the things they do or what skills they need. I certainly would not have the skills to keep a 15 year old Afghani boy with no English and an awful lot of anger (our typical client) safe and in one piece through to the other side of the asylum process.

At the same time the social workers realise that we know the asylum system and what needs to be done to prepare the case.

None of us are flawless, but we do have very specialised skills.

I gave up at Stage 1. When I submitted the initial complaint, I was offered a meeting, which I accepted. The SW seemed very kind and chatty and I ended up sharing my views with her on many things.

When I received the response to this complaint, I was told that this meeting had not been a meeting to discuss my complaint but an assessment of my capacity to care for my daughter, but that this supposed deception didn't matter because SWs deal with such levels of risk justified the decision not to inform me that an asessment was taking place... and that my readiness to complain had in any case aroused suspicion that I was hiding something so it was all my fault that they did it this way... but that because my name was entirely cleared there's no harm done.

I was too to even find a way to reply. And the deadline for advancing to Stage 2 is long gone...

And then, as I said before, they sent all the paperwork to another family with a similar surname to mine. And then blamed me for misleading them on the spelling of my own name...

Sorry, but can i just bring this back to the issues this thread was intended for.

I thought i was contributing to a thread that wants to discuss why many women are in fear of seeking help/ support for various problems, especially mental health problems, for fear of aggressive intervention by professionals such as sw's and hv's.

bmdfl- sorry didnt read your post before posting.

Yes, so do I...

I agree with you re complaing.. its not just abiut writing a letter. There are huge emotions involved when somthing like that happens. Also, i read in my notes tat complaing can be a sign of a personality disorder . So cant bloody win!

Yes, that's exactly my point. The whole system needs to do more to protect so-called 'service users' against being victimised for complaining. The whole thing seems to rely on those who complain being about to read and write, and not everyone who needs hep can...

Yes, i dread to think, if what happened to me, happened to a more vulnerable, less assertive mother, then i truly believe she would have had her baby removed.

Sorry, the above post is not really helpful to this discussion.

I think it is helpful, though. Even leaving personal issues out of it, the point remains. It's the assertive, pushy, literate mothers, and those who refuse to allow themselves to be intimidated and victimised for complaining, it's those who resist having their kids removed. Are they all dangerous, manipulative women playing the system to avoid detection? Or are they simply fighting to protect their kids like anyone else?

Meanwhile, the complaints system becomes increasibly more complicated, inaccessible, persecutory and risk-averse, leaving the most vulnerable and un-assertive women with no recourse to protection from a system that, like any other, has the potential to make dreadful mistakes.

I had my first when I was 17 - have had panic attacks and been agoraphobic since I gave birth and at times have not even been able to get out the house for months. I have been to the Doctors several times over the years - and 2 months ago started taking a AD for the attacks. I am a social worker.

bmdfl - you make a very clear point. It seems the complaints of psychiatric patients are, in short, so instantly dismissible that they are rarely worth making at all. Even if some of us manage to find the strength to navigate the complaints procedure and heaven forbid show anger or shock at the way we have treated. It is often described as a symptom of the condition. In my case, i was diagnosed with " likely to have a personality disorder" after i complained. And its not like we can say " right, i am unhappy at the way i have been treated, i will no longer use your service". That would make things worse. Its an awful situation to be in. And stinks of human rights issues.

I am almost 2 years into my fight for justice and its the hardest battle i have ever had.

I was really ill with PND after having DC3 16 months ago.

I went through a number of psychotic episodes and ended up being in hospital for several weeks.

I have seen numerous CPN?s, psychiatrists, HV?s etc and not once has anyone ever suggested that I was a bad mum or unable to care for my children, Nobody referred us to SS or even mentioned them, not even after I confessed to having hid DD in the bottom of the wardrobe because I thought there was somebody trying to get in the house to take her.

I received nothing but help and support from every HCP I came into contact with and I would urge anyone who is suffering with a mental health problem to seek help rather than going through it alone.

Being mentally ill doesn't make you a bad parent and nobody is waiting in the shadows to take your children from you.

Memoo - Its such a relief to hear a positive experience. Its also confusing though, as previous to my pregnancy i worked full time in a high support adolescent unit, I'm happily married, no drugs, violence, serious debt, i am a home owner etc ( so ticked alot of boxes in there eyes iyswim).
I suffered a psychotic episode in 2002 after a serious car accident and a culmination of horrid life events. I was hospitalised. On discharge i was diagnosed with BPD. However, i was pretty much symptom free for a year prior to pregnancy, which was in 2010.
When i had my booking visit i ticked history of mental health issue. That's when it all went wrong and i am now trying to pick up the pieces and live with the trauma that has changed our lives forever.

I don't think my case is particularly unique either as i have spent many hours looking into this. What confuses me is the different experience up and down the country. I was threatened with having my child taken into care if i became unwell after the birth. At no point was a mother and baby unit discussed. (I have looked into NICE guidelines.) Despite having close family and a supportive husband. I was referred to SS after my booking visit without my knowledge.I was under extreme scrutiny for months and i was not involved in any decision making or kept informed. I truly believe they where setting me up to fail.

Your absolutly right, having a mental health illness most defiantly DOES NOT make you a bad parent. But unfortunatly in my Case, they where waiting in the shadows

I fell victim to the paranoia and back covering and child protection fall out since baby p / Victoria Climbia etc.

were

I'm also NOT posting just to put people of seeking help.

I would also like to add, if at any time i did feel i was becoming unwell i would not hesitate to seek help. I would have no choice. I would not want to live with psychosis untreated. I love my dd and dh far too much to expose her to a seriously ill mummy.

Social Workers are watching and talking about you still

www.communitycare.co.uk/carespace/forums/anti-social-work-websites-and-blogs-9636.aspx

Legalmums- Can you repost the link please?

My mum had severe PND after she had me, she has bipolar and was hospitalised when I was a baby, and I stayed in hospital with her until I was 3 months old.

Not once were her skills as a mother questions, and me neing taken into care was never a situation that was even brought up. Their main aim was to make sure she bonded with me and I was never taken from her, even tho she was ill.

I have a younger brother and sister and she didn't suffer as badly after theey were born, but has struggled with depression as an ongoing condition and still has never said that anyone ever spoke about any of us being at any kind of risk.

Anyone who is suffering from any kind of mental illenss needs to get help as soon as posible, ignoring it won't make you better and the sooner you get help the better.

Please don't think that assumptions will be made about your abilities as a mother, get the help you need.

Hi to people on communitycare/carespace I was going to post on your forum but couldnt be bothered to go through the joining process, though perfectly entitled to as work in care. Anyway if you are still looking just wanted to say I'm not into social work bashing, never personally had anything to do with them, having read stories in the media, i am genuinaly scared that as a mum with mental health problems i will be not treated fairly, understood, given the help i need that my child will be taken away from me because someone thinks they know better etc...

ps the link does not work cuase it should read anti-social-work-websites-and-blogs-9636