not looking for sympathy, just need to get this rant out.

[nightowl]

i dont quite know how to explain how i feel. Lost and numb perhaps. Ive been made redundant again after all the struggles to get a job, and my tribunal etc. Everyone is telling me i'll be fine because i never give up on anything and bounce back. But surely, if im trying this hard to do something and i just keep falling flat on my face then maybe its just not meant to be. Maybe im a fool trying to make something out of myself when im clearly destined to just be here, every day on my own. I dont want everything to be a fight. I want a normal life. I want a partner and a job. Why is that asking so much? I was in that job for 3 months and all i did was lose money (thanks to IR). Now im in debt and looking forward to claiming benefits again (not). Why should i keep trying when its far easier to sit back, feel like someone somewhere has really got it in for me and accept my lot? I know im complaining again, these things just keep happening to me and i cant stop them. I think its time now that i should accept theres nothing in my life apart from the kids and be thankful for them. i feel like a worthless self pitying idiot. i was hoping for too much, i should have known better.

keep perserving use this time to reflect on what you want to do keep on fighting it does get better

Oh nightowl, life can be such a struggle sometimes, can't it.

Just remember the difference between successful and unsuccessful people isn't that the successful people never fail. In fact it's quite the opposite. The successful do fail, and usually much more than the unsuccessful. They usually fail a few times before they succeed. The unsuccessful don't keep trying because they're afraid of failing. But successful people know they're gonna fail before they succeed, in fact they expect it!

i know exactly how you feel,a few years ago i had a very succesful busines a lovely home and a beautiful daughter,now i have lost all of it.we moved to spain ,i had a breakdown and cant work and at xmas my daughter refused to come home(read my thread i have severe clinical depression and my 14 yr old has left).I want to come home but have absolutely nothing and i mean nothing not even any family.I feel that life has smacked me in the face with abloody great shovel and just want an end to it,however as all the kind people on mn point out this is a sign of depression not failure.Im not realy in a position to hand out advice seeing as ive messed up so badly but try to think of the positives ,you have your children with you ,you have a home,maybe you could retrain or try a job you would never usually think about, you might find you have skills you never knew you had and if that dosnt work then try something else again.I know you will get through this and find happiness.