Falling apart

[Kaloki]

I want to self harm so much, or fall asleep and not wake up. Everything feels like one huge uphill struggle, and I'm so fucking powerless against it all.

can you phone the Samaritans? A friend? Family?

or email [email protected]

Kaloki - please tell us more about how you are feeling - you are clearly suffering from a depressive illness - are you getting anyhelp........please come back and tell us more..........take care - there is help out there.

Kaloki is it your back getting you down? Something to do with TTC? Both? Just had a look at your blog, something you posted in November and December.

There's people here to listen and not judge x

I have depression, have had it for years. On top of that I have back problems and now I dont know where I'm going to be living in the next few months, if I can afford it or if it'll make my health even worse. Right now I'm living with my (future) MIL who is being a nightmare. Eg. Insisting on us taking money from her or insisting that we stay with her then complaining when we do.

She's stressing out me and DP who also has mental health issues and has been talking about suicide. I don't know who is going to fall apart first, me or him. I just need a break!

Hi Kaloki, hope you are feeling a bit better today. I have found the book that was a lifesaver when I had awful back problems, and would really like to post this to you. Please email me at: happy dot bird at live dot co dot uk (not hotmail dot co dot uk which is what I said before by mistake), and let me know where to send this. You sound so stressed and sad, and it is a really well written book with lots of self help, advice and exercises. Doesn't help with your housing and MIL, but hope it will help with the back pain.

Mollyfish> thankyou so so much, you've been so generous and helpful through all this, after dealing with so many horrible people you've really restored my faith!

Good news, we are free of the contract now, free to look elsewhere. Obv. back etc are still bad, but that's a huge weight off my (and DP's) mind!

Hi Kaloki,

Only too happy to help in the small ways that I can - so much about your situation reminds me of me at your age, especially nasty back problems and seriously cruddy landlords. That's fantastic news about the contract, now you just have to find somewhere to live so you can stay in lovely Brighton . The Gum Tree is a good place to look for flats(brighton.gumtree.com/) or try the noice board outside Infinity Foods in the North Laines, or the one outside The Mad Hatter cafe on Western Road. Friday Ad also worth a look. Housing advice centre near Community base on Queens Road can give you a list of housing benefit friendly letting agents. Can you get a guarantor? (Anyone who owns a house). This would help a lot. (I put this up last time you were looking, but I don't know if you saw it). Don't forget to email me an address where I can post the book - it really is good.

Kaloki I am sorry I don't have any great words of advice but thinking og you, hope your situation improves.when things arn't great it is hard to believe that they cannot change or improve, but they will and do. A friend of mind with bad back problems has started a pilates class and has had improvement. Please be kind to yourself in any way you can take care.