Feeling sorry for myself yet again - sorry!!!

[Sax]

I realise that mumsnet can only give so much support and ultimately I have to help myself. I'm really not daft and I'm sorry to keep coming on in my panics and low moments to ask for help.

I'm just struggling atm and I want to know when i'm going to have a good day again. I feel so sad and unmotivated the whole time.

There isn't a response to all this really I just thought I'd write it down yet again and say I want to be selfish and have a good day again. I am not enjoying my life at all, my poor boys are getting more and more out of control and I am missing their most important years of their lives.

Just tell me to pull myself together and bloody well stop moaning - Please!

Morning Sax.

Have a good day today.

Nothing selfish about wanting to have a good day.
Hope today proves to be a good one xx

Thank you - aim for the day -

Do not react to dh when he gets sparky
Do not react to kids when all shouting at once
Walk away if feel wobbly and can't cope - change rooms and then won't panic
Try not to get wobbly in the first place
Try to have a positive outlook on the day not negative
Try harder!!!!!!

I'll give it a go eh!

One main problem with this plan is everyone has their breaking point and I'm so damned close to mine.

I wonder how you know when your breaking point is near becasue I'm very scared of losing it completely!

Keep CCCCAAAALLLMMMMMmmm - I am truely trying to but dh is making me very

Have you told your kids that sometimes they can call 'Daaaaadd?' Used to help me no end!

What does dh do to make you angry?

I'm going to sound like a hypocrite - however:

he's really really unmotivated and only does for the kids on his terms! He winds them up and shouts at them and keep swearing at them.

I'm a hypocrite becasue i'm unmotivated too but I just can't motivate him as well! If I say will you do this that and the other he just gets angry with me!

You could try the 'I'm going to do x, y and z, what can you do?' approach with your dh.

Is it possible for you to give each other some free time while the other one looks after the kids? Just for a short time?

My top tip would be - get out of the house, if you can. Go to the park, run off some of the kids' energy. Go to the library or just go for a walk. I found this hard when my kids were small as I like staying at home, but I found the kids needed to be out, seeing and doing other things.

Then, when you get back, take a few minutes to yourself if you can. Have a cup of tea and put your feet up, just for a few minutes.

I used to do this with my kids - 'we've been to the park, now Mummy's going to sit down for a bit' and the kids would play quietly or look at books. Not easy to start with, but they do get used to it. Apologies if your kids are too young for it.

Anyway I've rambled a bit, hope something helps!

Thank you assummedname - yes i do need to pull my arse into gear and get out the house - I'm becoming a bit 'stay at home - its safe' syndrome so yes, that is the answer really and dh can do whatever (nothing probably). I'll then get back and sort the washing, tumbling, dinner, cleaning, tidying etc etc etc etc etc and try not to think too much.

This does sound pathetic I know and its not rational becasue its normal family shit everyone deals with - some better than others though!