OK so this is seriously immature and weird but here goes.
I have suffered from mental health problems for about 20 years. I was in hospital over Xmas, basically because I suffer from psychotic depression and had a particularly bad episode after office xmas party, at which i tried to jump off a balcony.
Whilst I was in a very upmarket clinic over Xmas, I met a man who was in there for addiction. We got close, and although I was only an inpatient for 5 days, we spent the last 2 days holding hands and flirting.
I left the hospital and the next week he phoned every day(I was usually out but answered once). Then he phoned one day when I was in and asked me to come and see him, which I did (he is an hour's drive away). In that time we went to the pub and got truly drunk and kissed a little bit. I have my suspicions that he took some drugs that evening but he denied that. We got home (he lives with his parents) and had a cig outside, and he made some patronising comment about my car (he is very wealthy, I'm not) and I laid into him about how he is a rich, posh boy who doesn't know anything about life and who lives off everyone else and doesn't know what love is. Eventually it cooled and we sat and cuddled/kissed that evening and watched tv but he went to sleep and I put him to bed.
Next morning and all day he was quite distant and seemed keen for me to leave, which I did when the snow abated.
The problem is that I can't stop thinking about him. I have a drink problem but his is very much more serious than mine. When I was at his house he was showing signs of drug use (twitching, hearing things that weren't there, paranoia) but he said he hadn't taken anything. But he is like a lovely fluffy kitten, warm and sweet and charming. My intellect is saying FOR GODS SAKE but I just want to look after him and cuddle him and make it all happy for him. I have a wild side too and the night out we had was a meeting of minds,but my instinct is tellimg me to delete the phone number and forget. I can't.
What to do?