How do I know if it is PND?

[SparrowFflamau]

I don't know if it is hormones and tiredness or PND.

It isn't my "normal" depression, but I am feeling paranoid like I do with AND. Or maybe I'm not. I've pretty much convinced myself that DH has fallen for another woman. Many sane ladies on here have assured me that it seems innocent to them (with 2 saying it was dodgy), but I am still spending my time paranoid about what he might be talking to her about, if he loves her. The woman has a boyfriend ffs, he has shown me msn convs with her talking about him in huge messages, but the irrational part of me is whispering that he is talking to her on msn and not to me. But we have never been a couple for long chats of an evening anyway.

I keep crying for no reason. I'm twitchy if I am alone, and yet don't want to be around people either.

I need to go see the gp/hv don't I? Its not fair. I get hyperemesis. I get antenatal depression. I get normal depression. The post natal bit I am meant to be able to enjoy. I don't want to lose out on my last baby.

How old is your baby sparrow?
In my experience, extreme tiredness and depression can overlap and in many cases the symptoms of both are very similar. You start with one and lead to the other, and vice versa. However, it becomes diagnosed as depression when you meet a certain number of "criteria" which are something like:

• extreme tiredness
• loss of interest in things that once brought you pleasure
• loss of concentration
• difficulty sleeping and early wakening
• irritability / anger
• anxiety
• crying a lot
• feeling hopeless / worthless
• thoughts of self-harm or suicide

In PND it can also include loss of interest in your baby, or excessive anxiety that something terrible will happen to your baby.

Sorry that you've suffered with depression before, have you taken any ADs before and did they help?

I think you should see the GP, don't see it as failure, see it as the start of getting better.

P.S I don't think you are being unreasonable to not want your DH to chat to some woman on MSN. I would be thoroughly pee'd off if mine did that, he should be spending time with you and his little one, especially since you are feeling so vulnerable at the moment.

Thank you

I am feeling a lot more stable today. DD2 is just coming up for 12 weeks - she's had a nasty cold for about 10 days now and feeding a lot through the night because feeding is hard with the snotty nose , plus even less sleep than usual over Christmas etc.

I'm going to go and have a chat to my HV today (if I can get my mum to have to big two - school is closed)

Now I am feeling more peaceful (I got more sleep than usual last night), I am more sure it is just the sleep than depression. Yesterday I was at that wide eyed crazed stage .

I'm starting to try and teach myself EFT (the tapping thing that paul mckenna does) to help with my trust issues. I knew when I met DH that he makes friends more easily with women than men, but over the past few years he's struggled to make any friends which has been making him v low. I have never had any reason not to trust him, and when I look at the situation rationally, I still have no reason not to trust him. If I carry on as crazy as I have been about it then I can see it turning into a situation of "If I am being blamed for doing something anyway, I may as well do it".

Thank you for replying