anyone come 'back on the scene' after having shut themselves away due to mental illness? What did you say to people?

[JaceyBee]

I wonder if you can help me.

I have a friend who has suffered a long episode of severe depression with anxiety/social anxiety/panic attacks.

After being basically housebound for over a year and avoiding any sort of social contact, she is now feeling a bit better and like she wants to try and get some of her life back.

The problem is that she has no idea what to say to people about where she has been and why, a few of her friends have send the odd text and they know roughly that she's been having some problems but she's worried that they will try and get her to talk about it when that's the last thing she wants.

If anyone has been in a similar position or knows someone who has, what did you say to old friends/acquaintances to explain your long absence and how did they react after seeing you again?

I was honest

It was only 6 months though and it was related to pregnancy, so once the baby was out I staged a miraculous recovery, and that made it easy to tell people as I had a "reason" for it ie the pregnancy.

People were very understanding though - I simply said that I hadn't been around as I hadn't been at all well, but that I was better now and it was nice to be out and about again. If they questioned I answered them honestly. A very surprising amount of people have suffered mental health issues of one form or another and many people surprised me by saying "oh yes I suffer from panic attack", "I was depressed a few years ago" etc.

The only people I didn't tell were my parents as they wouldn't understand at all. I hid it from them totally.

Your friend will know which people it might be easier to keep it vague/not mention it etc.

yes, have had v awful times when newly discharged from hospital (which is the opposite of shutting self away voluntarily but similar after effects I suppose?) - esp. in school playground with other mums, yet most people assumed I'd been working away or whatever but I thought everyone KNEW and it was horrible

also would take about a year to get self back together after being ill, by which time I'd be ill again, so am a bit of an old hand at this

luckily most people are so wrapped up in themselves they are not nearly as interested in the psychiatric crises of others as we think, so where possible I didn't say anything or I pretended to have some sort of physical illness

most people who did find out were surprisingly understanding and supportive, and to them I would talk a bit more honestly and openly about my experiences

i was in hospital for 3 months after eventually asking my doc for help. A couple people came to see me and i tried to put on a facade....didnt work...basically collapsed.Some people called the hospital a looney bin,but they are the ignorant ones,they dont realise the difference between a physcotic problem and depression/anxiety.

just came home from private hospital for short 1 hour visits to see if i could cope. Couldnt even make a cup of tea without shaking. Just couldnt think of the order of doing things...like tea bag,sugar.milk...it was all too much.

Completely lost my confidence and felt as if i looked different. Felt as if people would know i had had a breakdown. Went out for a cuury with my next door neighbours and on the first time out,broke down cryig and had a massive panic attack.

Tell your friend ,that the people who really matter wont care where she has been and TBH it does help to let it all out and talk to people. Friends respond well to someone who appears vulnerable rather than someone who shuts it all away. If she does that she will make herself more ill.

JCB, I'm just about to 'come out' again after my umpteenth hermit phase

As others have said, most people aren't all that bothered about where you've been - "I've been unwell" or "got bogged down" are true enough, while still being common excuses.

The issue feels bigger than it is your head. I take courage from the time I took a year's career break to go travelling. Although I'd been literally off the scene, hardly anybody realised I'd gone for more than a couple of weeks!!

If she wants to talk about her down time - and it cans help - she'll know who she can trust by how they respond to her. Each time this happens to me, I lose a couple of "friends" but the ones I have left gain value

Give her my best, and tell her to take it easy.

I meant "the issue feels bigger, in your head, than it really is"