advice needed please

[almostanangel]

ok .i had clinical depression and was treated was suppposed to get counciling but by the time they had interviewed me and decided i could get help and then waited for an appointment ,i had coped with the deayh of my dad and loadsa other crap.mum is in hospital at mo and ,,i am visiting her and ok ,,but today i took my dd to school and after dropping her off thought how nice it would be to get hit by a rather large truck.so i could have a rest..i am walking about like a zombie but to the outside wourld i am looking fine and coping,..i am going to visit her today even though i said i wouldnt as my brother is going ,who doesnt like hospitals i said i would go with him so hes not on his own...my house is a total mess ,,

you poor thing . your life would not be better if you were hit by a truck. you have had alot to cope with and its hardly suprising you feel like this but please stay strong. you can do it.
like i said the other day im here if you wanna chat

but i dont wanna do it any more ,,i am fed up with being evrybodys rock,,thats how i got this bloody nick name ,,i want to rest i want to go to sleep

is there any way you can have a break then? just a couple of days alone. you seem like a lovely person from what ive read .
you have a dd who loves you and need to focus on that.
dont worry about the house, it may be messy but its not the be all and end all. it can be done when you are feeling better
do you have any other family other than yr mum and bro who could maybe help out?

have 3 bros all a lot older than me ,,but im there for them ! oh ,i have 3 dds,and i love them ,i also have my dh ,,but he really isnt good a t support bless him,

oh sorry didnt realise you had 3 dd . oops

is there any way yr dh can look after the kids even for a day just so you can have a break. i know its not v helpful advice but it might do you the world of good to have some you time

oh ,bro on way to pick me up ..thank you for listen ing ,,i just have to grin a nd bear it after all i wasnt born cos they wanted me i was an accident! mum was 47 ,and ive just been a useful girl to look after eevry one so tough on me,................................

well you sound like an angel to me and please dont do anything silly. i will always listen if you wanna chat even about the tiniest thing ,

im just sorry i couldnt be of more help. just remember that you are a mum now and regardless of whether you were planned or an accident you have yr family and 3 lovely kids and a dh, you are stronger than you think and will get through this. i wasnt planned either and have alwasys lost out to my younger bro who gets everything. i guess its life, we just have to accept that we may not have been the most importnat kids to our parents but it also makes us better people because we will learn not to treat our kids in the same way.stay positive

take care

x x

AAA - this all sounds far too much for you.

Stop being the rock for your brothers - especially if they are all older - let them stand on their own two feet, and start leaning on dh a bit.

IMO, your only 'job' is to be there for your DDs - and your mum as and when you can.

hi am back didnt stay long.as mum was tired .she is much clearer than last night as lastnight the nurses rang me to say she was very upset and to talk to her and she thought she was in a home ,,she is still groggy ,,i think is prob the anasthetic and morphine ..thanks for being there this morning ,,i think it wa s just that i was so tired ,,because of the last few days