I know that I have been on here before many times about this but I just don,t seem to be getting any better even though its over two years down the line.
I had have been ttc for all of this time and I probably should not even be bothering.
I was told a year ago that I am suffering from premature ovarian failure hence my inability to concieve and I can,t get over the loss of another dc I have one ds who is now 9.
I beat myself up day in day out at him ending up an only despite the fact that there would of been a large age gap.
I really wanted another dc but have been told my chances are very slim.
My dh is not interested, not fussed about another dc and just goes along in his own sweet way with life.
I can,t afford to go fruther with this and wouldn,t be able to anyway without dh's support as he is simply not bothered about another dc.
I feel so bitter, angry, and sad that my child bearing days are over when I don,t feel done with having my family.
My one sister is alot older than me and her children are grown up and I am now watching babies coming into the family and everyone is cooing over these new arrivals.
I feel as though I am stuck in my own nightmare with this.
I am on antidepressenst did attend some counselling but it doesn,t seem to have helped.
My doctor has more or less said that I need to work through this myself but I can,t seem to do it.
If I could live a life without seeing babies and pregnant women I might be able to but I know thats impossible.
Please what can I do to get rid of this pain.
I am so jealous.
I have just gone 39 now and nobody seems interested in helping me now.
My own family don,t even ask me how I am doing any more.