Self harmed last night - feel so screwed up

[heading4home]

I haven't done this since July and before that it had been years. Wounds are superficial but it hurts this morning

Can't tell anyone in real life. Feel so ashamed, this is something teenagers do not 35 year old mothers.

Is there anyone around who has had this experience or just a kind word please.

could you go to the gp this morning?

Thanks merrycompo. I'm not in the UK. I have a family doctor but would never tell her something like this.

And 34 year old mothers. You are not alone. Am going to be out for much of the day but will be around leter if you want to talk.
Do you do hugs? {{{{{ }}}}}

Thanks maskedyurter1. I'm sorry you have been there too, but thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.
I am at work at the moment, shouldn't be on mumsnet. Just want to go home and cuddle with my daughter.

Take care. And don't feel ashamed.
I will look out for you later.

Go home. Make an excuse up.

Don't feel bad - this is a stressful time of year and people have all sorts of ways of dealing with that stress - some worse than others. At least you didn't drink a bottle of gin and then tear off in a car. Are you feeling stressed about anything in particular?

I am stressed about travelling home for Christmas, for a lot of reasons. The travelling, staying at my mums, the whole Christmas thing, I find it overwelming. There's a lot of things. I just want it all to go away

My dad used to do the tearing-off-in-the-car thing. It wasn't good. He also couldn't deal with Christmas at all. I guess that's where I get it from.

At least it's the weekend tomorrow.

Hi heading4home. Please don't assume self harming or any other coping mechanism is something for teenagers. There are quite a few MNers who have crap coping techniques (I am one of them) and I am 39.

I am having counselling, and she told me that, although my way of coping is self destructive, it's just my way, and it's familiar and comforting etc.

When the stress goes away, the coping mechanism will also go away.

Can you find ways to look after yourself? You know, really pamper yourself. Have something to really look forward to in the evening? I have a really hot bath with bubbles! I also knit. I record nice Christmassy films that are on in the daytime, and watch them in the evening.

Is there anything for you to help yourself feel better?

But once again, please don't feel ashamed and try not to worry, it's just your particular way of coping, and it won't harm you in the long run.

HTH

Yes is there anything you can do to give yourself some respite or to make things easier? Meet up with some old friends? Have an hour's peace on your own?

I have no experience of self harming in RL but I do know it is not something you should feel ashamed of and is your coping mechanism.

I just wanted to add to the hugs. I dont have anything constructive to say.

{sending big big hugs}

When do you go to your mum's for Christmas?

It would be a good idea to have a few coping strategies up your sleeve for when you are there. Some method where you can have time to yourself (go for a walk?) during your stay (I am assuming you will be staying overnight?)

What things in particular are you finding stressful? If you can think about each thing, and find ways to eliminate or minimise the stress in advance, then that will reduce your fear of it, and you will feel more in control.

I used to self harm,last time was 2.5 years ago and i damaged a tendon..im confident il never do it again,im having a delicate tattoo done soon to claim back the scars as mine...hugs xx i SO understand where you are,its a silent scream

Thanks for the support and suggestions. My life is not particularly stressful really, all of the stress comes from inside of me and I can't escape it.

We are having drinks with friends tonight which I am looking forward to. I am better when I'm not on my own.

Last night I was watching comedy dvds, which is usually something that helps a lot, but then my mum phoned.

It's an interesting perspective twoisplenty, to just put it down to a coping mechanism and not worry about it.

im 40 by the way,dont feel shame..

We are going to my Mum's on the 23rd and staying until Jan 1st. I don't know why staying there stresses me out so much, but it always does. I am dreading it but trying not to show it because my dd and dh are looking forward to it hugely and my mum loves seeing dd so much.

Try to think what exactly it is that is stressful. Then you can work on it - some things might be easy to sort out.

To have this uneasy anxiety without knowing why is difficult to manage. To find out what the anxiety is caused by, does help.

Try to write a few things down as you think of them. Then work on them, one by one.

Just wanted to say that you're not alone. I self-harmed for the first time in years about a year ago. It is a coping mechanism, albeit one that's ultimately not helpful. But few people who haven't self-harmed realise the sense of relief that it can bring.

Think of it as a temporary blip....You can get back on track anytime.

Sending nice vibes your way....

Yes, when the counsellor told me that my coping mechanism was nothing to really worry about, it did actually help to calm me down about it. It doesn't worry me any more!! It will go away when it is ready (when I am ready I suppose)

I agree - it is a coping mechanism and while it is better to have less self-destructive coping mechanisms (and therapy/counselling can give you more tools to deal with things) - at the end of the day, it's less harmful than visiting rent boys or drinknig a bottle of whisky with your cornflakes. It can SEEM awful because there is such a taboo around it and an association with suicide, but suicide is NOT what you are doing, you are just trying to deal with stress in the best way you can. Be gentle with yourself and keep any wounds clean.

I am here if you want to talk heading4home. I am a regular self harmer. I have spoken to my gp about it. It took a great deal of courage but was worth it.