Do you get lonely at home as a SAHM?

[girlygirl]

I do, although I've been doing it for years. I really miss the company of work. Does anyone else feel like this?

I was a SAHM for my own children and made the effort to attend various child-related groups/activities to keep me sane!

Am now a Stay-at-Home-Childminder - still at home, obviously, but with everybody elses children!! There is still no way I could stay in the house all day long, so I still go to different child-related groups.

I don't have the "sleepless nights/birth story"-type conversations with other mums, and there are always other mums/carers only too willing to discuss far more fruitful topics ("would u sleep with David Beckham so long as he didn't talk?", "did u see that very rude channel 4 documentary last night?" etc). Could be worth persevering with toddler groups??

I childmind for a couple of mums who only work for a couple of days/week purely to hold onto their sanity, so I think that is worth considering, even though the financial reward is negligible. It just gives them enough of a boost to feel a bit more human!

I identify with all that you have said. I am facing cutbacks in my part-time job. I am an adult literacy tutor - I have enjoyed the last four years and have got myself qualified. Did one evening class and a day class. Cut the evening class to do another course and concentrated on doing short courses - teaching the internet and computers to beginners. It was good fun but is the first thing to be cut back. But the dear government has it in for adult education - cutbacks all over the place affecting the most vulnerable e.g. learning disabled students, anyone who can't cope with doing conventional exams (why they are in our classes anyway !) Funding is being concentrated on people who can get qualifications towards GCSE, so tutors are vulnerable - if we don't get enough students, goodbye job. So depressing after four years hard work - it was interesting and worthwhile even though the money was terrible for the hours worked. It fitted in with my daughter. Now she is getting older (10) I could have done more, but .....

I find the lack of purpose and being on my own very depressing. After next year she will be at secondary school and I won't see anyone. I'll volunteer, I think. Volunteering is what started me on the road to being a tutor. Being at home is not easy, especially if you feel you want to be there for your child even when they are older. Am so glad to hear that not everyone finds it easy to make friends at school gates - just because you've got children doesn't mean to say you'll have a lot in common. It feels as if the whole world is out at work, but obviously they are not.

Sorry about rant - it upsets me that the government doesn't care about the vulnerable in society. It's all targets and exams. I can recommend voluntary work as a way to meet people, though. Will take my own advice again !

I feel very isolated sometimes and bored in the world of children and their parents. Also, I hate not earning any money because I don't feel I can choose what it goes on. Also I miss the lack of appreciation. I used to love being good at my work and praised and appreciated (sad eh?)
Haven't got the hang of the 'unconditional' nature of mothering yet.

I too work from home and can identify with all these comments - phew, I thought it was just because I was a foreigner here!

I'm moving back to be close to my family too - just too isolated here

I miss being able focus all my attention on a conversation instead of having to always be conscious of what the children are up to.

I miss being able to get things done without an audience or finding ways for children to "help".

I miss being in charge of what I would get done in a day.

I miss being able to have tea and lunch breaks where I can chat with friends.

My husband doesn't understand how relentless it is and none of my friends with more than one child has the time to get together (those with one child don't get how different it is with more). All of my friends with children work so I think they view my life as the easy option and think I'm very lucky. I don't want to whinge at them as then I'd see them even less, so thanks for letting me whinge on here.

I go through phases, mostly no though. I arrange things for me (book club, knitting circle, walking - am aware these make me sound terrifically dull btw, but I enjoy them!). I have friends with children the same age, friends with grown up kids and friends who've never had kids. It's taken a while to build up a social circle like that. Me and ds2 go to one toddler group that we both enjoy, rather than the seemingly hundreds I went to with ds1 and endured. We also go to church every Thursday to spend the day with the old folk - they love having a toddler around the place and he enjoys the attention!

With ds1, when he was the same age, yep, I was lonely.