i dont want to feel like this.

[misdee]

poor richard whitely has died. and yet i cant get this one thought out of my mind. he was a 'larger' man than my dh, whose weight has dropped to 63kg, and the hospital are saying he needs to put on weight. life isnt fair. i know RW didnt have a transplant, but a pretty major heart op. feel so sorry for his family but also worrying about my own.

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It made me shit myself about my son also who has no problems with his heart just now and is doing really well so i feel for you Misdee. I would try to avoid reading to much about it, we are all unique and nothing ever follows the same formula. Sorry your feeling low.

Am so sorry you are feeling like this Misdee and do not have the right words for you.

I often think of you too and hope that you are all keeping strong.

oh FF its so horrible. i always thought RW was a pretty robust man, but he fell ill recently. its seemed so quick. hate this. and bloomin SS arent any help really.

i know. tbh sometime si feel so of other peoples lives and their worries. i know they seem like a big deal to them, but when my sisters husband complains of a cold i feel like whacking him. when someone says they cant get the car/coat/shoes they want, i feel like, so what, its only material possessions.

Misdee please don't compare the two. Outward appearances are decieving. Focus on your individual needs. Find a positive spin on yours, you have youth on your side. I realise you will feel scared and no words will help, you have every right to, i just wish something could ease your mind. Hopefully good news is round the corner. I can only offer my sympathy for what its worth, being scared is a horrid way to spend every day. You deserve and need a lot of love, care and support x

Thinking of you all sweetheart.

I cant begin to know what you are going through, but Im here if you ever need to talk - rant - or whatever.

Wish I was closer to you to give you a big hug and some time out xxx

please excuse me for one moment.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh!!

f*cking life,what did we do eh? fgs, dont know how much longer i can keep it all othether for.

let it out babe....

i want to be able to plan things, i want to be able to tell my kdis we're going on holiday ages before it happens. i want to live closer to the hospital

i know honey. if i could wave a magic wand i would.

things will get better one day, i promise.

meant to ask earlier.... did you want some autumn/wintery stuff for Serena 6-9months?! Trying to get rid of some of the clutter!!!

I bet you do, it isn't fair, not in the slightest, i want to do something to help you and find a solution so god knows how out of control you must feel sometimes. Perhaps you can take a slight bit of comfort out of the fact you should be amazed and proud of how strong you are.

oh misdee,i'm so sorry,i can't even begin to imagine how hard things are for you and your family,you are coping with an awful lot,life's not fair at all but there will be light at the end of the tunnel,you have to believe that,dh will put on weight and get stronger for his op,richard whitely's death is bound to make you have awful thoughts,anyone in your situation would,i hope you feel better soon,take care.