Has anyone dealt with a minor (but longstanding) mental health issue themselves successfully?

[SolidGoldBangers]

I don't want pills, I don't want counselling and I am very wary of consulting the 'professionals' after reading about what happened to the poster who got SS right up her arse when she gave up drinking and consulted a helpline. (I will absolutely not put up with having officious fuckwits 20 years younger than me coming round my house with clipboards and patronizing me).

Well we might need a bit more of a clue what the problem is - but yes-ish (though without more info I don't know if this is relevant). I struggle with anxiety and OCD tendencies but it is a struggle that I generally win, in as much as I can have a normal life and don't let my anxieties take over, thanks to a umber of tricks (some learned from books/counselling in the past, some developed by me). If you think it might be useful I can tell you more.

Thanks MDB. It's an OCD-type thing that I have basically had all my life, just recently I've started thinking that it is actually a problem, done a bit of googling and found out that it's got a name and everything, but I am thinking that now I know what's wrong I should probably be able to fix it or at least keep it under control.

I was linked to books on Amazon concerning my DDs MH problems. Looking though it there are a lot of CBT type books to help yourself.

here CBT is supposed to be good for OCD. HTH.

Yes, with the help of a few well chosen books which I occasionally revisit when the need arises!

Well. I still don't know if this will work for you but my top tip for OCD (which I have also tended towards all my life, though never had it really badly) is to think of it like this.

OCD is like a religion (and indeed I think it comes from the very same part of our brains). I know you like me SGB are an atheist with little time for superstitious nonsense, but think about it - you do OCD type stuff because you convince yourself that "If I just do xy and z, I can make things OK" or "I will feel safe if I have done this or that routine". Of course it never does make us safe and so we tend to come up with more beliefs and rituals that we have to do.

My trick is to remind myself that these compulsions came from me in the first place - I made them up. So I can make up more rules, and those rules can include dismissing the rules that are making life difficult. So for example if I fail to do something I "should" do, eg checking something or worrying about something, instead of panicking I make up a new rule - eg I'm allowed to not bother at least twice a week. If I find a need to ritualise is taking over, I make up a rule that it's time that ritual was cancelled. In this way, as fast as they try to accumulate, I turf them out. It gives me a nice feeling of being in control too (which is what OCD types actually want) instead of feeling controlled.

It might sound as if I'm twitchingly bonkers thinking about all this stuff all the time, but in fact this is second nature now and, while I am still very much a do-it-all, organised type of person, I'm actually fairly relaxed in general. I can see completely how OCD can take over people's lives but I feel I can keep it at bay if that makes sense.

I said "-ish" however because I still am generally way too much of a worrier - but I think I have just learned to live with that. I try to laugh at myself and distract myself with mindless trash. I love magazines like Ideal Home and Red even though I think they are shite - they have the power to wind me down, especially with a bath. If you can. find something that works like that for you.

it sometimes can be done but it can be so much nicer not to do it alone...
sounds like youve been on your own with it for long enough.

Yes I also agree with others, there is nothing wrong with counselling if you can find the right person to help you. I am sure my anxiety arises from my very dysfunctional family in which I was the only "responsible" person and felt like I had to run the show from an early age. I saw a brilliant woman, regularly but not frequently, for several years and she helped hugely (that was pre-DC and I'm sure it made having DC much easier as I became less angry and less highly-strung). I have also briefly had CBT and learned some useful tricks which I still use, such as how to focus on the present moment instead of agonising about past or future.

My DD is due to start therapy, she is having suicidal thoughts. Even though it's an extreme case (to us at least) no social workers are involved. We were told it was obvious that there was no SW intervention needed. Not all cases will end up with SS. You could go privately to a therapist.

Thank you all for your kindness. Basically (having spent the last couple of hours on the phone to my mum) I'm a bit sort of reeling about it, I owned up to her and she was very very supportive and said yes, she'd spotted it and hand't wanted to push me about it.

Erm, suppose I ought to own up here as well: it's hoarding.

Going private is not an option as have no money, but am going to try reading websites etc as well as doing stuff ie getting rid of things.

www.amazon.com/Compulsive-Hoarding-Acquiring-Workbook-Treatments/dp/0195310551

Thank you TC. Will have a look, also there are sufferers' forums on the net to check out.

Now I am going to get off MN and fill a bag with stuff for the charity shop (baby steps...)

solid is it affecting your daily life in a bad way? I am guessing yes or you would not be posting.

Charity bag has to be a good start.

Do you have a trusted friend who could help you with a massive clear out? My sister, for example is renowned in our family for being the master chucker outer.

Dittany: Yes, am going to join it. Thanks. It was that website that sort of triggered off the realisation that I actually had a problem (after years of going, just because I have a womb doesn't mean I do housework - so one of the reasons for being resistant to therapy is the fear that I will get lumbered with one who wants to 'normalise' me in every respect).
I can't cope with anyone else coming in to help yet though having told my mum I'm now going to talk to my dad/brother about coming over with a car to take some stuff away - one problem is that not having a car makes it harder on a practical level to get rid of bulky objects like broken furniture...)

Thanks, Dittany. I'm not at the appalling shit-and-rotting-food-everywhere stage (am about level 2/3 according to the website), it's mostly due to having too much junk, partly compounded by being both a market trader and an Avon rep, both of which mean having a lot of stuff which has to be kept and stored... I think I made a big leap by talking to my mother and saying that I had a problem getting rid of stuff people had given me and she was very nice about it and said, look, get rid of things you don't want, other people do, it's not a crime not to like a gift.
I was joking about it on Facebook, asking friends to guess what my problem was and realising that most of them wouldn't know because, basically, I have spent years avoiding letting people into my house.

it's obviously something that's been worrying you because I've seen you hint at it for a while

firstly, well done for telling people . That's a big first step believe it or not! and I hope you feel a teensy bit better now that you've done that.

Self help books are great as are support forums but don't rule out going to chat to a counsellor - it can feel like a real unburdening being able to talk freely without having to worry about whether you're worrying other people iyswim or having to think about what you are saying. And you don't have to access it via your GP. There are lots of organisations in London who provide therapy, some of them link the costs to income so it need not be prohibitive in cost.

Not saying you need to go and have some - now you've identified it and can read up on it, perhaps you'll be fine on your own but don't be scared of accessing further help. Good luck.

(just realised I assumed you lived in London but that's because I think I once saw you say that - sorry if not!)

SGB we recently had a mahoosive clearout as part of moving house. I don't think we've hoarded things compulsively, just found it easier to chuck it in a big cupboard that sort it out - although DP is more reluctant to chuck things than me. But anyway, for moving, what we didn't bin, we put in storage while we moved - haven't got it back yet and tbh I never need or think about that stuff - it could all disappear and it would make little difference. Of course we do have to sort through it but I now know a lot of it can go. Just having it out of sight and out of mind is great. If you have somewhere you could put a load of stuff (parents' garage etc?) it might be a stepping stone to help you ultimately get rid of it.

A lot of it is unwanted gifts - it's so hard not to feel guilty about getting shot of them - and the other thing is furniture/household stuff we've bought and then realised wasn't quite right or replaced. That's made me ask people if we can have smaller/no presents especially at xmas, and also I've resolved never to buy anything for the house without really thinking it through.

Well, progress today, nice phone call from my dad to say 'We're all with you, just call when you need stuff taking to the tip' and other nice phone call with bloke from recycling centre who will actually come and collect a load of knackered kitchenware (as recycling centre doesn;t allow pedestrians in - how eco is that?!?).
So one bag of elderly pans and busted kettles going tomorrow and one big bag of clothes already gone to charity shop...

Baby steps but I'll get there.

Well done Having managed with minor 'quirks' for years which are now becoming moderate and harder to live with, it's encouraging to know that you're starting to change things bit by bit. I hope it goes well for you

Baby steps SGB, one day at a time.
Keep at it [hugs]

Hi SGB. Its good that you have recognised this and are looking for ways to stop. There is a panic disorder helpline that I think is free/price of normal call that I can find you if you like? My friend used to be a counsellor for them and she used to have OCD issues herself - as do many of the volunteers. Might be worth a try? They may have some ideas or advice, and if they are mince you can always hang up. Let me know if you want me to get that for you, I cant remember its name off the top of my head but can ask my friend.

I'm going to throw something in here and I may be completely wrong so feel free to ignore, but I am familiar with you on here (am a regular in disguise) and know that you are usually very honest and hope you will take this in the right way. I am wondering if theres something underneath this going on? For example I have eating issues and feel that OCD, self harm and eating disorders all have similar means to an end - in that they are all coping mechanisms we use when we feel out of control. Feel free to search my posts under this name and it shos some of my food issues. Thing is with me if someone came and chopped out my food issues I would struggle very much as there are problems underlying them. Most of them stemming from childhood and have delt with these recently in counselling. However even now in my recent mini relapse then its not the food thats the problem, theres other stress - the food is just my way of coping. So what I am saying is it miht be worth considering if theres something going on that you are trying to control with these behaviours? Because if there is then removing certain OCD behaviours could just leave a gap for more unless you deal with the underlying issues of why. I could be completely wrong and it may be different for OCD so forgive me if you think I am out of line.