do i need some help?

[redwill]

Hi! mum of 2, dd 3 1/2 and ds 13 months. I went back to work when ds was 3 months which i was devasted about but had no choice because of dh's job we had had to move before his birth. B4 going back to work the health visitor had questioned pnd but I felt at the time i wasn't depressed simply stressed about going back to work so soon. Went back to work, expressed in breaks and lunch bf until ds was 12 months and have now reduced from 4 days to 3 but I feel so low. I cry at anything especially news/sad stories, I am obsesively worried about illness (we've had a bad year of illness) and I can recognise that I am behaving irrationally. I feel physically low, I also feel that I want to be away from everyone except the children and I just want to be with them all the time. I went on a course in London last Friday and I just wanted to hide in the corner. I am also now starting to feel 'dazed'. I am worried. Scared of antidepressants and refused them last year and opted for counselling instead but I cant continue that as its £ and also having to arrange someone to look after dcs would cause me so much anxiety. am still working and carrying on as normal ( although being vile to dh) not sure how much longer I can carry on like this. Do I need to see a doctor?

Hiya - did not want your post to go unanswered.

Sounds like a good idea to have a chat with your GP. And maybe to think about why you are so scared of ADs - my dh has always been very anti them but has recently started taking them as I needed support (have PTSD) and he couldn't give it.

He's on a very low dose of Citalopram (10mg) and feels a huge difference in anxiety and in mood after just two weeks on the stuff. And he has had very limited side effects (some headaches but he is prone to those)

And please give yourself a huge amount of credit for expressing and BF while working and for so long too. I went back to work when ds was 10 months and just bfed him mornings and evenings by then. It must have made you very tired!

Hi redwill, I think it will do no harm to see your doctor.

The low mood, obsessive worry, sensitivity to sad news stories should not be ignored......it is not fair on you to have to carry on feeling this way. Please do not try to just 'carry on' without any help. Something can be done to stop you feeling like this.

I think the fact that you recognise that you don't feel right is good.....it means you can act now and do something about getting yourself back on top form.

You have nothing to lose by going to the doctors. Please don't be scared. Be honest, explain exactly how you feel and see what he/she suggests for you.

Nobody can make you take anti-depressents if you are unsure of going down that route, they may not even be suggested and there are lots of other options to consider.

I myself have taken anti d's in the past and they were an absolute godsend. Often they are not needed and these things can lift by themselves, but your doctor would be the only one who would be able to diagnose you and discuss the best course of action for you.

Make that appointment and do let us know how you get on.

redwill - ITA with both peskykitty and madmouse. You should see your GP and discuss with them what you have told us here.

I had PND which started pretty much from birth of DS1 and which I only got diagnosed for when he was almost a year old. And if it makes you feel better, I was a psychologist before having DCs and even I didn't totally recognise the signs - attributed them to other things really.

ADs can seem scary. I have mixed feelings about them myself. My gut reaction is that I don't like the emotional numbness I feel when I have taken them in the past. However, I also recognise that they were essential in helping me function day to day when I had PND for a second time. Without them, I would not have been able to give my DCs the time and attention they needed as I was distracted and emotionally unstable.