Bombshell

[FabIsABadMother]

DH didn't actually say this.

He is amazing. The best man in the world.

He has supported me through so much that most people who bale from.

We are struggling with the kids and I have depression. DH has a very stressful job and we are both shattered.

I wasn't handling things very well tonight but that was all my fault because if I didn't have the kids I think I might bale myself.

DH was unhappy tonight, looked close to tears, said he was unhappy with the kids behaviour as we have shouted at them every day this week and he feels it is getting worse. He also said he was unhappy with me and wants me to get better. It isn't all about depression. I have other emotional problems and tbh I am fed up with myself.

I have got to find a way to not let things take over as I can't bare to see my hubby so unhappy when it is 100% my fault.

Fab there is no way and I mean no way it can all be your fault. Something is making you feel like this and it sure as hell is not free choice.

Of course your dh wants you to be better - would be bad if he didn't! That's no reproach - just haring his feelings maybe hoping it will be an incentive for you.

Tiredness always makes it a lot worse.

Do you have any support in the form of anti-depressants or therapy/counselling?

I know the depression isn't my fault but some other stuff that is upsetting me, is.

I have been on AD's for years and don't have anyone in rl to talk to about stuff.

I am a heart on my sleeve girl in that it affects how I am even if people don't know what is upsetting me but I would really like to learn how to keep things in a box in my head.

maybe ask your doc for some CBT to help you create coping strategies. I am no huge fan of it as it doesnt address underying issues a lot - but if this is what you think is going on it may well help

Thanks for that. I have the CBT book fotr dummies but need to find time to read it. Our power is going off at 7.30 this morning so today might be an opportunity.