I have scared myself with ill-advised googling on a mental health issue...

[SolidGoldBangers]

People have said in the past that I have a mental health issue, and I don't exactly agree. (I can't be arsed to namechange nor can I be arsed with having to deflect troll hunters). I do think a lot of labelling of behaviour, attitudes as 'mental health issues' is just conformism, but at the same time I am feeling funny about this. Does anyone else have a 'quirk' or something about themselves that makes other people say they 'need treatment' when they think that actually they are ok, just unusual?
BTW, it is nothing to do with sex.

I think that generally traits that are defined as mental health issues exist on a spectrum . Milder forms of a trait will be considered to be normal deviation/ eccentricity. When a trait becomes disruptive to normal functioning either to the individual, family, community or society then it becomes worth labelling as a mental health issue. I think it also depends on how 'fixable' a so-called problem is. For example, personality disorders are mostly not treatable they are just the way that person is . Can you be more specific about your issues?

If it isn't causing you unhappiness or health problems and does not pose a danger to others (incl your DCs) then I would not see it as a mental illness. We all have our quirks.

There is a whole school of psychoanalysts who believe mental illness is ALL about labelling, even schizophrenic symptoms. I wouldn't go that far but there is a debate to be had.

Well - I think we are all somewhere on a continuum, we all have tendencies to varying degrees. So (just an example) someone with no hangups about cleanliness or rituals or tidiness etc at all would be at the "normal" end of the OCD spectrum - whatever normal means.

And the definition of normal is cultural. In some cultures at some time in history, loads of women who were seen as normal would be defined as a bit OCD in our current culture.

Anyway, rambling. I do think that people accept treatment to conform a lot of the time.

Is the issue itself (as distinct from what people say about it) bothering you? Does it interfere with your life and stop you doing things or harm your relationships and friendships?

That's what I'd be asking myself.

I am not sure.

Am a teacher. I do often think that the reason labels can be useful sometimes, is so that we can find strategies that work. For example, I have worked with lots of children with ADHD. A few of those children clearly have something outside their control going on, and many of the children probably have complicated behavioural issues. Whatever. It doesn't matter to me - what matters is that the strategies suggested for students with ADHD work and so help them. As WobblyPig says, they exist on a spectrum too.

Does that make sense? So could you try to find out what the recommended treatment is for the 'label'/disorder and decide whether it would help you? It might be that it is just helpul to be aware of it. So much of therapy is about being aware of yourself - not necessarily changing, or being able, to change it.

I think it's difficult SGB... I think one person's normal is another person's eccentric is another person's insane IYSWIM.
When you say 'people have said in the past'... do you mean people who know you, the real you, or just casual friends or acquaintances? If a casual friend made a remark about my 'personality' or MH I wouldn't take it too seriously as they don't know enough about me to make a judgement.

Ok the issue is, um, housework. My house is untidy. It is not full of catshit and rotting food, just fairly untidy. Some people have said that I 'must be' depressed or have some kind of reverse OCD or whatever, I am more inclined to think that it's to do with a) I do, and always have done, market stall trading and event trading (and ebaying) and therefore have stock around the house
b) I'm not that fussed by mess and
c) housework is a waste of time and there are always more important/interesting things to do.

Sound like OCD is the mental illness and not having other interests. Being busy isn;t an illness. Untidy / busy is fine. Dirty / filthy is quite another. But you're busy? Then by my book - that's normal behaviour? I haven't seen your house of course...but based on what you've said!!

People have different thresholds for tidiness. If it doesn't bother you and isn't causing safety issues why should anyone care?
I wouldn't consider that in itself a mental health issue. There are hoarders who would be considered extreme and eccentric but not in need of treatment.

lol at it's nothing to do with sex (you know, I wouldn't have assumed that at all)

well I think you have to be careful with googling stuff like this SGB. My family full of mental health issues and I know from therapy that it is ALL too easy to look at people's behaviours and start 'labelling' them as problem behaviour.

One of the great paediatricians wrote a story about how a family came to him with a child they thought had troubling behaviour. After spending several sessions with the family, he concluded that the parents were both very introverted and shy and it so happened that one child was just like this and the other child (who they thought was a problem) was very extroverted and just didn't fit in. There was nothing, in isolation, wrong with the child at all just the parents perceived, based on their view of life, that he was not normal.

Both dh and I are very untidy and dh is a hoarder. People do describe hoarders as having issues as they can't let go of their stuff - it has an importance other people think it shouldn't have.

Because I am untidy, it does not bother me in the slightest and I'm sure people think we live horrendously but we are laid back and happy and that is what matters.

I would say if you are worried about it, then you know what to do (tidy up a bit more ) but I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't that bothered and just carried on because tbh, that's what most untidy people do quite happily

I am quite like you, I don't SEE mess and also consider other things more important - am also rubbish at cleaning, it never looks quite clean as when dh does it. Am good at proper sorting though. I also like having a house full of bits (boho chaos type) and don't like 'showhome' type houses. love our table with the dc drawings all over it etc.

however, I do love it when it is dh makes it tidy and clean, and feel calmer etc. I think I def have ishoos with throwing things away...Like having 'things' around me.

Do you feel better when it is tidy/clean,or just the same? If you had a magic wand, and could make it clean and tidy, would you? If yes, I'd say then you need to address why you can't/don't make it like that (time? priorities? ). If no, I think you have to value it as who you are - and if that's eccentric, well, hurrah!

and I think there's a big difference between choosing not to clean/tidy the house (which it sounds like you are doing) and hiding in bed because the mess has got too much and you don't know what to do/can't do anything about it

what did you start to think you might have? diogenes syndrome?

I'm still afraid to post about this in my normal nn, but am a long term mnetter.

I have BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder. I mainly don't post under my own name as I dont want family finding out.

I thought it was just "quirky" that I had periods of intense inability to do anything (like tidy up !!!), that I self harmed, had depression, drank too much, and was generally unhappy. I thought that's just what I was "like".

Then one day I googled, found BPD, and you have no idea the fabulous feeling of knowing "why" I was like that. At my next clinical psychology appointment I laid it out - that I had every symptom in the book and went through the diagnostic process.

Now I get help, I have medication, I am improving daily.

Suppose what I am saying is that googling like this is not always a bad thing, cos I found out my real problem and 6 months on am doing really well.

But I was unhappy how I was. If you are happy, and noone is being harmed, step away from the google button and noone will get hurt!!!!

borderliner may I ask what help you are getting? Does it have to involve face-to-face sessions?
I hadn't realised there was actually anything that could be done about bpd...
TIA