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PND doesn't mean the end

6 replies

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/11/2009 19:16

Have just sat down with a glass of wine and am feeling quite sad at how quickly time goes. Tomorrow is DS1's 12th birthday. His birth was extremely traumatic and the first weeks and months of his life were very difficult, I couldn't breastfeed, he had terrible colic and I felt like a terrible failure as I just couldn't bond with him. I became very depressed and to be honest all I remember of the 1st 6 months of his life is a big black hole. I did slowly get better but for years I felt a hideous guilt about my failure to bond with him. When he was 1 he a big operation and I was so low I was convinced he would die because I didn't love him. For years I really feared our relationship was beyond mending. I am so relieved to say that is NOT the case. Today despite normal family angst we are so close and have a great relationship based on shared interests and a love of chocolate!! I am so proud of him. PND didn't ruin everything.

OP posts:
Gmac2009 · 12/11/2009 19:26

Good to see a positive, uplifting post on PND nobnob. Thanks

Gmac2009 · 12/11/2009 19:26

sorry, that should have read Hobnob...!!!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/11/2009 19:27

PSML Gmac

OP posts:
bb99 · 12/11/2009 19:36

Congrats.

Wouldn't have believed you a year ago that PND could ever resolve itself etc, but you are so right. It doesn't have to ruin everything

Enjoy your boy's birthday. many happy returns.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/11/2009 19:43

Hope this post doesn't sound like I'm gloating I am not honestly. Just that I felt SO guilty for SO long that I had "done" something terrible to my son when I hadn't done anything, I had been ill. So often as a mum you beat yourself up about everything you do and sometimes hindsight lets you see that those 1st months didn't have to mean a bad relationship forever. I have only really realised this very recently and the feeling of release i suppose you could call it is immense.

OP posts:
bb99 · 13/11/2009 10:18

You aren't gloaty at all - I think it would have helped me get over massive guilty feelings during PND to hear stories like this even if I would have felt a bit sceptical at the time IYSWIM. Any glimmer of hope would have been useful

I think everyone is really happy for you that you have let the totally unnecessary guilt go and have such a good relationship with your ds.

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