I have very bad anxiety, particularly relating to my children.
I hate them being a way from me but force myself to allow them to stay at my mums, but I will spend the whole night worrying there will be a fire or one will wander out of the house and cannot relax.
A few times the older one 5, has gone missing, he has always been hiding in the house but I freak out so bad as I think he has been taken.
When I collect him from school I panic if I cannot see him.
The other day he was not visable at all in the crowd in the classroom, looking back he was probably in the loo, but I had a quick look and wasn't there.
My heart started thumping, my hands started to shake, my chest tightened and I had to walk to the back of the playground as I could not bare the fact I couldn't find him/see him.
All sorts was running through my mind, I was thingking 'his teahcer will open the door, her face will drop and she will realise DS has been missing for hours'
I could see myself screaming in my mind.
I know I sound crazy, I know I do.
Its not rational
but i have such a huge HUGE fear of losing one of my kids.
It keeps me up at night, the thoguht that one day they may not be here.
Its too much for me.