i dont really know where to start lol. when i was very young i was very very shy (people laugh wehn i say that now) i was bullied about my size (really wasnt that big) at school and i never ever dared answer them back. first love treated me badly and i put up with it. now have great husband and 2 older kids am size 10 and keep myself looking nice. first love contacted me a whle ago and taht has stressed me out so much as i never stopped loving him (even though he was and prop stillis awful). i have everything i could ever really want, money if i need it, hubby who is good and kind, fab kids. soooooooooooooo why or why do i hate being me. i am so down, if i could i would stay in bed allday. i have thought about councilling, but i dont iknow where i would start.