long term depressives call out thread

[stakethroughtheheartofgold]

i could really do with someone to talk to about recurrent depression, someone who's been there. the kind of depression that doesn't relate to circumstance, just comes and goes.

i realise it's a bit of a long shot as anything posted in mental health seems to sink like a stone, but worth a try, right?

It's strangely nice knowing there are many of us who are similar in this way I think.

ok your coping now and thats great but why should you have to feel like shit while your doing it? I'm not saying that you should go on meds but if they make you feel better and improve your quality of life, why not?
I've tried coping in the past without them as I felt like a total loser who couldn't deal with normal day to day life but you know what? I can't most of the time and thats just my reality, sad as it may seem.

I'm off too bed too, night all

stake - I've also had horrible reactions within a month of being on the pill - something which I abandoned pretty quickly. Hence huuuge discussions before touching mirena with a long long pole! I got it for an obviously hormone imbalanced gynae issue which I won't bore you with but although I think from reading around mn and elsewhere I'm a minority vote, it has worked fantastically well for me, from all pov.
And can I repeat those wise words you've already been given, please don't ignore the warning signs. Better to get meds earlier than later - and remember each time it comes back it has one less weapon to hit us with

I've had recurrent depression for about 10years, sometimes prompted sometimes not. I'm only 25 now :s

I have reccuring depression. I've traced it back to my childhood and that has helped me deal with it. Now, when I feel an episode coming, I try to analyze what may have triggered it; not necessarily an event, but perhaps a flashback or a feeling of helplessness that arose from something else. Usually thesedays, I can pinpoint what has caused it. Often a simple argument with DH triggers all sorts of abandonment issues, feelings of hopelessness and "what is the point of living" thoughts, but I realise that this is a throwback from my childhood and that in actual fact I have a lot to live for thesedays (of course rationalising doesn't help the feelings, though) so I just wait it out and wait it out until the depression lifts. I've found that connecting it to my childhood has made me feel more sane, because I hated the feeling that I was insane and unable to cope: the housework goes, you snap at the kids, drink, can't function properly, get anxious. Pinpointing the original childhood cause can help with these things, but I understand its not for everyone. Sometimes its better not to open the can of worms, especally if you have to keep functioning for your kids/job.

Have found this thread really helpful. Been depressed since I was 12, now 36, but only went on AD's 3 years ago after a breakdown post birth.

I hate the grip depression has on me, laziness, not showering every day, no enthusiasm, avoiding housework etc. I fight with myself for the whole day sometimes, reasoning with myself to get up and shower, and maybe even go for a walk, it drives me nuts, for every positive thought I will have 5 negative thoughts. It's so hard, as I am a single mum, trying desparately to get a job so our quality of life improves and I gain some structure, but am so anxious about losing the plot, as I have lost 2 jobs through depression.

am on 20mg citalopram, which isn't enough but I refused when GP said to increase dosage. I have never spoken about all my issues and have been waiting since July to see a phsyciatrist, I feel like I am going to burst with this constant battle in my mind.

I don't want to feel like this for the next 36 years.