How do you know when its depression?

[skinsl]

Not post natal.... just depression. My sister has always had her down times, but think it may be more serious? What can I do for her?

The Royal College of Psychiatrists has a page here about the symptoms of depression. There is information on the same page about when to seek help; types of treatment - including the pros and cons of the various options - and helping a loved one who you think might be affected.

Good luck.

You could talk to her - ash her if she's okay and depending on your relationship, suggest she gets help. It was my Dh who realised I was depressed and took me to the docs - I was angry at the time for his interference but I'm so glad he did: life is much brighter these days...

all those symptoms sound like her, but they could also apply just if you are having a bad time. I guess I mean how can you tell if it is temporary and she will get through it or if she needs professional help. we have talked about it and I think she would start with the GP, but all of the doctors in the surgery have not been particularly helpful in the past re physical things, which to be honest I think have been stress/depression related. she is worried no-one will take her seriously.

I'm guess I'm lucky that the GP I saw was sympathetic and took me very seriously. It's not an exact science, but she had me do a questionnaire based on how I was feeling - a little like the one the hv gives you to spot pnd - and this combined with talking meant she could see that I was depressed.

Before I sought help I felt physically sick, couldn't leave the house, sometimes couldn't get dressed even, couldn't eat or sleep and seriously considered leaving as I honestly felt I was no use as a mother or wife and DH and DD would be better off on their own.

For me, it was like life was shrouded in darkness, and felt very, very different to just feeling a blue, if that makes sense.

So my sister went to to doctor, who gave her anti-depressants and a referral. the mental health people called her and suggested a group therapy session. She said she is having a hard time talking to one person, let alone 10! Is this normal, he went off to talk to his supervisor about it.
She has been on the anti-depressant for 4 weeks now, and she feels no better, has been back to the docs once, and was told they wouldn't work overnight.
She is now off work and has gone home to parents, my mum is worried sick, says she is like a zombie,and is worried that the tablets are making things worse.
What the hell can we do to help her, just want to cry for her.
She is the usually the liveliest, funniest person in the room, but says she is sick of pretending. She can barely speak to anyone.

Anyone any suggestions? Please?

Its not unusal for people to seemingly go backwards ebfore they go forwards. The tablets can take a month to work. She's facing it now and it is oging to be hard. But remember its better than no-one knowing what is going on and her feeling alone with it. Surely its better for her to be herself, or at least how she feels right now.

There are times when medication needs to be changed, but she should be having regular check ups with her gp who should be able to spot if this is the case.

Taking to strangers is very different than taking to people you know, for lots of people it is easier.

Well done you for supporting her through this.

I used to be the funniest liveliest person in the room. So when my friends discovered what was going on inside and I dropped my mask it was a shock for everyone including me. Facing up to things involved allowing myself to feel bad and be supported rather than push the corners of my mouth up and tell my self see I can still smile so I must be fine. And that meant feeling awful and wishing I could go back to pretending as that was easier.

You are being a fab sister - just keep on being there for her. What dose of anti-depressants is she on?

It sounds like she has been having internal problems for some time and supressing them will, in the long run, have contributed to her state of mind.

She will need time and space to find the ability to talk and however worried you are, and miss her 'old' self, need to let her know she has that time and space.

It does take time for AD's to kick in and also find the right level. Lots of love (and you sound like a lovely family who will do the best for her), and reassurance that you are all there for he.

If you are in a position to get her out for small walks in the open air, it really is a big help for depression. Even if it is just to fetch a paper or nip to a shop.

Really feeling for your sister. I too have suffered a severe clinical depression and was in hospital for 3 months. It is truly truly the most awful illness.

Medication does sometimes take a while to take effect and as someone else has said sometimes it has to be changed if the original med is not effective. Having said that, unfortunately it is the case that sometimes medication seems to have little effect. But I wouldn't agree with your mom that the tablets are making her worse. Yes I too was like a zombie and even breathing sometimes was too much trouble. And yes it is so worrying for loved ones to have to watch someone disintegrate in front of their eyes.

I think you must ensure that your sister remains in touch with the GPs/mental health serice, though group therapy at this stage sounds totally inappropriate. Has your sister not been referred to a consultant pyschiatrist - if not I think you need to press the Gp for this referral. I think sometimes Community Psychiatric Nurses (CPNs)
get involved and visit as many times as necessary. If all else fails she may need to be admitted to a pyschiatric hospital but I gather that these days they are trying to keep people in the community as there is so much pressure in the mental health service.

Is this your sister's first episode of depression. If so it is even more terrifying and she will feel like she will never get better. However I think you must all hold on to the fact that depression (in almost every case) has a beginning, a middle and an end and that she will get better. She won't believe you if you tell her this but it is in fact true.

The NHS is horrendously over stretched and especially so in mental health services and I think you as relatives can help by ensuring that your sister is getting the right services and you may need to be very assertive here, as she can't fight for herself at present.

Feeling for you all.

Sorry to hear your sister is going through this, but how lucky she is to have such a fab sister . I have recently started anti-depressants after a lot of dithering, and I was lucky that they worked fairly quickly with no major side effects. The GP did warn me that it might take 4-6 weeks to see any effect, and that not all tablets work for everyone so you sometimes need to try a couple of types. It's also not unusual to feel worse a few weeks in apparently, just for a short while.

My surgery has a psychiatric nurse, who initially sees patients being treated for depression and other mental health issues. She can then refer them on if necessary or, as in my case, she might see patients herself. I'm currently seeing her every two weeks. Could you check if you sister's GP can arrange something similar. I must say that I personally wouldn't want to do group therapy but I guess it's up to the individual. The GP also recommended Mindgym and moodgym websites, not sure of the correct web address but should be able to google them. Hope she feels better soon.

So sorry to hear you're sister is having such a bad time. I'm starting to some out the other end of PND. The help of my family, especially my sister - if your sister is okay with the idea maybe and dad is what has kept me going. Part of the reason they were so great was the fact they (and some other freinds who have been really supportive since i was able to face seeing them( have had MH problems themselves in the past, and so they didn't try to talk me into cheering up, they just listened and provided practical support by visiting me, keeping me company, taking me out for a coffee, taking me up to the doctors when I couldn't make myself go (i.e. when initial dose on meds weren't working).

Perhaps if you have any freinds / family etc who have had problems and come out the otherside, they might be easier for her to talk to than a group therapy session?

In my case I also had a health visiting team that we great - they were outside the family so I didn't have to censor myself for fear of upsetting them. They came out on lots of home visits and provided lots of reassurance and help with self confidence as well as tips for baby massage etc that helped me find a way to keep going. Much more effective support than the nurse practitioner who has been supporting me at the GPs - nice enough, but interested in adjusting meds only and nothing else (or so it seemed when I was not well - my family tell me this was not really the case).

I was offered refferal to mental health team and which I really wish I had taken it up, but I had to make a phone call to speak to them, and I never managed it. I probably should have asked for help.

If your sister doesn't feel able to ask for more help, or just thinks there's no point it may be a wonderful thing if you can help her acess it (with her permission. of course)

i wish you all the best

thanks for all your messages.
She is finally feeling a little bit better, more alive, and coping better. Back to work tomorrow, which will hopefully be ok, big milestone I think. Also her best friend just gone back after a visit, so hopefully that won't knock her back too much.
Citalopram 20mg.
Just glad she seems to have a bit of relief from the sinking horrible depression she was in.
She does seem to have developed a very strange sarcastic sense of humour!! anyone else had this? seriously!?

Does hte humour worry you or is it just strange?

Remember she has been keeping things inside and now has to find new coping mechanisms. Black humour can be enormously helpful.

skinsl - maybe your sister's strange saracastic sense of humour is some sort of defence mechanism that she needs as a result of the depression. There is still sadly an enormous amount of stigma attached to mental ill health and many sufferers find it embarrassing to have to acknowledge that they have been a victim. There are still even in this day and age who think of people who have depression/anxiety as "nutter" etc and this is very upsetting for people who have suffered this awful illness. It may be her way of trying to "cover up" whatever she is feeling about what has happened to her.

However I would monitor the situation and don't be afraid to talk with her about this -and say you are concerned she is acting out of character - am assuming it is out of character. Anyway glad to hear your sister is feeling much better.

we just found it a bit odd.It's like she is taking the p*iss out of all of us.
Sure it's nothing to worry about,just wondered if it could be a side effect of the drugs or a symptom

thanks for your help
x