Can pnd be something that keeps resurfacing and then going away for a while?

[ginhag]

Ds now 21 months and is wonderful,very bright,very demanding...

Thing is,every few months I seem to sort of fall into a black hole. Always pull myself out again tho. Have a lot of pressure with work etc,some other worries. Very supportive dp and my parents great,tho 3 hours or so away.

Also had mmc followed by 2 erpcs back in April/may..was picked up at 12 week scan,no idea before that.

Am just so low,and feel like this comes round every few months. Was determined that I didn't have pnd after ds but know I def came close,struggled a lot.

Maybe I'm just having a hard time and looking for something to pin it on. I hate this though. My son deserves better.

Perhaps I'm just being an idiot. It worries me though,I have periods where I can tell I'm really losing my grip.

Have family history of depression but have never been 'hit' as such. However after ds born I experienced some incredible lows and this still happens now. I love him so much but at times I am so tired and find myself wound up and angry. He doesn't deserve that he is just a baby.

At the moment I am under pressure at work and also have to go to hospital to get a lump checked. Have had cysts before but mum had bc last year and have just found out genetic counsellor thinks I should be tested for the gene so although I shouldn't worry I do.

I find myself tied in knots about what would happen to my son if I wasn't here. Have a wonderful dp and parents,but just can't bear the thought of not being there for my little boy.

Thoroughly melodramatic and over reactive. Am just a bundle of nerves.

I should be happy I know I'm blessed really.

Was hoping someone might have some wise words...I guess not. Think maybe part of why I'm low is that my due date would've been next week.

Anyhow. Talking to myself like this isn't helping!

Hi ginhag, sorry to hear your having a tough time.

I've often wondered whether PND can come and go because like you I can have weeks of feeling completely fine and then I suddenly sink into what feels like a pit of despair. I feel like theres this scream building up inside me. I get so frustrated because I have 2 beautiful healthy DC and a supportive DH.

My DD is 19mths and although I was told I had PND decided (maybe stupidly) to try and cope without AD's, I was put onto a waiting list for counselling. That was when DD was 4 mths and I still haven't seen anyone yet.

Have you talked to anyone in RL about how you feel?

I think depression of any sort can come and go. Today is a really bad day for me today but I have had a while of feeling okay. I don't think you have a choice of whether you are going to have PND or any kind of depression and only a small element of choice as to how you will deal with it.