I dont know how to do this anymore

[rhksmum]

I'm so scared
I cant function properly
I dont know what to do
All I can think of is is my prescription sitting in the kitchen
how it would make it all go away
cpn just left and I couldnt tell her how I felt
I couldnt get the words out and shes not coming back for another 3 weeks
Pyschologist is off for the next 2 weeks
I feel so alone
Cant talk to my friends as I dont want to upset them and I'm scared
got social worker coming this afternoon which isn't going to help how I feel

I'm so scared

Hello rhksmum. I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. I think the first thing you should do is call your cpn and tell her that you need to talk to someone. Failing that, make an emergency appointment with your GP and get everything off your chest. I am assuming your medication is for antidepressants? (sorry if this is not the case) could it be that your prescription needs to be changed or are you not taking it? Talk to your friends. Do not worry about upsetting them, they care about you and will want to support you. You need to ask for help. Please take care of yourself.x

rhksmum - as bluefooted said.........you must ask for help, you simply must. I am assuming you are suffering from depression (I too have suffered a severe clinical depression and was hospitalised for 3 months) and know how utterly scary it is. I think there is more emphasis now on keeping people out of hospital and doing cpn visits at home, but sometimes this is not enough. I am sure you know that the risk of suicide is high in depression, so PLEASE do what you can to get more support than you are getting. Iknow how hard it is to motivate yourself to do anything let alone "fight your own corner" when you are feeling so awful..........do you have a friend who will do this for you. You say you don't want to upset them - they would be much more upset if anything awful happened.

I know how hard it is for others to understand depression - impossible really until you have experienced it, but you need more support than you are getting at the moment.