Why do I feel nothing, zilch, Nada?

[Lovemyshoes]

I have had a shite month or so having to deal with my brothers death/funeral etc.

I still don't feel 100% and I'm prone to being very weepy, moody etc.

I've finally come back to work and though I'm finding it tough, I'm coping and glad to have some sort of routine back.

But, I have been offered a job of my dreams and I'm due to start shortly, it is very near to home, good pay, career prospects, I will still be working with some of my old colleagues, but, why can't I get excited about it.

I feel nothing, which is making me think, is it the right thing or not to go for it?

Anyone?

I am like this, sometimes I am over emotional but alot of the time I cannot feel anything which makes it very hard to make proper decisions. At times like this I just try and use my head totally, so even though there's no spark there about it, if it is a good thing to do I'd do it.

I definately feel that this is the right move to make, its more money, full time and there is scope for advancement.

It's complete retraining and something that I could really get my teeth into, but, why don't I feel chuffed/excited etc.

Maybe when I've had a bit more rest and some counselling I will be able to see clearer.

Hi Lovemyshoes. You've not had much comeback on this which surprises me, but your feelings don't. You've lost your brother. I lost my brother last year and for a year I've had barely any feeling for things either. It's shock. It is completely normal to feel nothing for this job, even if it is the job of your dreams. It doesn't mean it's wrong to take it, it means you're grieving and you're physically unable to feel the excitement you 'should'.

Im' so sorry that you're feeling this way and I'm so sorry you've lost your brother. Have a look at the thread for bereaved siblings in the 'Bereavement' topic as it's been an incredible support for me and you'll find that you're not alone with these dreadful feelings.

I've had hard times (sorry to read about yours) when my reaction is to feel nothing at all. It's when I know things are really bad for me. I once went to see a therapist about this and she said it's a totally normal reaction, to withdraw from feeling anything because it's too hard.

I can't advise about the job - but I'd say, can you perhaps see a grief counsellor? CRUSE provides a counselling service which a friend recommended highly to me when her father died suddenly.

One thing that we've discussed on the Bereavement thread is how our lives are so very different since our siblings died, and how we have become different people. What was the job of your dreams before your brother died may not be so now, because something so much bigger has happened to you. It doesn't mean you shouldn't take the job, I'm just trying to find a possible explanation as to why you don't feel the excitement you once would have.

Thank you all for replying.

Prunerz, I have had my first session of bereavement counselling today, it was really upsetting (which I knew it would be) but, the counsellor was lovely and I have another appointment next week