Fucking black dog rears his ugly head again. Can anyone hold my hand today?

[FlamingoBingo]

Shit, shit, shit. Feel like I'm imploding. Haven't got the concentration to meal plan and I need to do our online shopping order. DD3 is so 2, it's not funny. Really hard work. DD4 has turned into a toddler far too young - she's not even 1 yet, and she's already having tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants. And she's a bloody limpit baby right now.

DD1 is wonderful, thank goodness. DD2 is wonderful a lot of the time and a screaming banshee who mirrors my mood perfectly the rest of the time.

Can't believe I'm feeling like this - first time in about two months .

Just got completely overwhelmed just by trying to think about meals for the next two weeks - something I do all the time! Thank goodness my friend is coming over. But what the hell am I going to do if this is more than a blip? I really hoped I'd beaten the depression. What do I do to beat it back down again?

I really don't want counselling again. It was so hard work to fit it in with everything, and I'm sure leaving DD4 so frequently so young is one of the things that's made her so clingy now.

Ooh, I do the swear-texting too! But to DH. But try not to because I don't want him worrying while he's at work. It does end up making me laugh though.

Throwing toilet rolls at the wall - sometimes a whole 16pack. Makes me feel utterly ridiculous and much better afer hurling each one, with all my might and shouting something highly inappropriate at the same time.
Nothing gets damaged and a semi-decent mood is restored

Glad the day is going well for you!

I went swimming with my friend, did 20 lengths, so feeling quite good about that! Then did shopping and came back here with her for lunch - had a right old grown up natter! (ie lots of gossip!)

Then did yesterday's dishes and am having some mumsnet quality time to myself before kids arrive home at 3.30 - yay for the school bus!

Flamingo, nothing to add except that you're not alone!

In a very, very dark place myself today.

Then of course my mum phones up and says, 'I'm really upset by your attitude towards life. This is the way it is.'

Oh, really?! Yeah?! Who are you, the ghost of Sylvia Plath?

I told her I didn't have time to listen to a lecture today, thank you.

Hope if we can all hold hands and sing Kumbaya together enough at least we'll fall out laughing eventually .

Well done to you for what you achieved today!

People don't realise how hard it can be for someone who is depressed or suffering mentally to get through even banal tasks.

Sending you supportive vibes.

Flamingo - you are so not alone!

sometimes i think it's worse when you have been feeling good then have a bad month day.

that's a great link, Warrioress!

Flamingo,you okay? xx

Hi Flamingo - I suffer very mildly from depression but find DS's limpit like state very cloying at times, he has always been like this and I find it very difficult as DD was diferent. Being at nursery has not made him more/less limpit like but he too has tantrums.

That was very unhelpful, just wanted to let you knwo that you are not alone.

Not unhelpful, but kind, fivegomad. It's helpful just to know people are on your side and behind you while you fight depression.

ABW - hope you're ok this morning. I just found your sad posts from last night . Sorry I didn't find it in time for some hand-holding.

Have you got the black dog books? If not, get them! It really does help me to see the depression as a black dog, and knowing the things he feeds off so I can work to keep him away. I don't know why that visualisation is so helpful, but it is. The books have good tips in them, for you and anyone supporting you.

How are things today Flamingo?

Yesterday, as the day went on, did you start to feel better, or the same?

Hope today is a good one!

Hi twoisplenty

I did begin to feel more myself once my friend turned up, and also taking all the great advice from this thread.

I've just been for a long run - 38 minutes. Black dog doesn't like exercise, so hopefully he'll bugger off for a few days. DH here today too - DH seems to keep him at bay mostly. He didn't when I was really ill, but I've felt fine so far today so fingers crossed he was just popping in for a visit yesterday!

Thanks for asking.