Am I depressed or being lazy?

[angelcake99]

For ages now i just can't be bothered with anything!
i have 2 Dcs who are 4 and 1, and the holidays have really highlighted how little I do. The house is a mess, I hoard to a big degree, and now I can't even wash a full load of dishes, i leave some, I can't see to complete any kind of task, whether it be around the home or emailing someone etc.

I keep telling myself that its me being lazy, and tomorrow will be different, but the new day comes and its the same all over again. I feel exhausted, yet I hardly do anything. I know this sounds pathetic, but its been going on for so long and building up, so that now I am not taking care of myself, the home and the kids are not getting outside etc.
How can I break this cycle?

You sound so much like me a few years ago.

Well the good news is that you've taken the first step - you have recognised what is going on and are wondering what will change it.

If you keep doing (or not) the same things every day - guess what - nothing changes.

Years ago I was in a bad/sad place with XH before I had my DD. What I started doing was keeping a diary and a planner. I wrote something in the diary every night before I turned the light out and it showed that I was actually achieving something every day even if it was just going to the shop. I also planned something different like going to the swings every week so that I had something to look forward to.

I also went for a chat (very tearful) with my GP. I got counselling and antidepressants for depression. The counselling definitely helped but the tablets just held me back.

I'm still lazy and I hoard but that is just me being me.

Please go and ask your GP for help. You're probably exhausted from looking after your kids, maybe a bit lonely too?

It is not pathetic at all - it is just where you happen to be at the current time.

Hugs

It probably is depression, caused by the tedium of housework and childcare. You could try making a (realistic) jobs list and trying to stick to it but if you really can't break through and do things, I would say go the doctor's and get some antidepressants. If they don't seem to work at first then go back and get the dose upped. I think 40 mgs of fluoxetine is miraculous tbh.

You know, I don't think its laziness. If it was it wouldn't bother you. You would be happy enough to let things go. It is bothering you though.

I have been feeling exactly the same, and feeling terrible that my dd isn't getting enough from me.

On Monday night I decided to get organised as having no structure is certainly not helping me. (was made redundant 3 months ago but certainly not he only issue)

Yesterday I got up and whilst my plan was not realistic it certainly helped me get lots done, plus made the effort to go and met a friend for lunch with our DDs, had missed her hen night at the weekend.

Have you seen the other thread with the self help type booklet, haven't read through it properly yet but looks good.

thanks to you all for kind words and advice. I have started giving myself a few small jobs to get done first thing in the morning as I seem to manage better than in the afternoon. It has helped quite a bit, it is reassuring to know that others go through simliar, and that it can be sorted out. I think alot of the feeling I have are due to not having a propper structure to the day.

Going to have a big clear out of all the junk at the weekend and see how I feel. Got the kids out yesterday and felt so much better.

An old friend said that she suffered from depression and I could never understand it, she was out every day, had loads of friends and was reasonably energetic with her kids, but now I can see that just getting out of the house can help so much, and that saying Hi to someone in a shop etc can actually help.. rather than sitting at home staring at the piles of junk and not talking to anyone. Its a bit silly that I didn't cotton on to this ages ago.

Yes, I agree that just getting out to the shops every day can help a lot. I know what you mean about structure to the day. If your older dc has not started school yet,you will probably find that when she does, this helps a lot. You have to get out at regular times for the taking and bringing home. I agree too that its a good idea to get jobs done early in the day, but don't beat yourself up if you don't finish all you meant to do. After all, some of the things are just so boring, its perfectly normal not to want to do them!