I'm going to see the doctor this afternoon as I feel the depression is back- will I have to 'convince' her?

[cupofteaplease]

I suffered PND after the birth of both my children, but weaned myself off of Citalopram a year ago.

I really feel that I am not coping, and I am slipping back to my old ways (I haven't had another baby, but I did have a mmc in April- connected? I've no idea.)

I feel the anxiety is too much again- I get jumpy going to the supermarket, as I worry people are looking at me and judging me, I have low self esteem- hate everything about myself pretty much, I over analyse things that people say to me or do, I try to second guess what other poeple think all the time, I'm irrationally angry with my dh the majority of the time which is causing a huge strain on our marriage and I'm snappy and over critical of my darling children, which is not the mother I want to be. I can't get to sleep, nor stay asleep, and I am terribly unmotivated, despite starting my first teaching job next week. All in all, I'm feeling a big, low mess.

What shall I say to the doc? I've never seen this one before and I'm worried she'll write off what I say, as it's clearly not PND which I think they 'accept' more easily. I'm scared about her sending me away with a pat on the head and my tail between my legs as I feel I NEED the help of ADs again- I just want to feel on top of my life again.

Hello, sorry to hear of your mmc. You sound like me at the moment. Went to doctor last week, was told to exercise and google mood gym. Now while it looks v good, I am like you, felt I needed just something to help me begin to get back to normal.

I went back today and was more insistent that I couldn't cope and needed something. I let myself 'look' a bit more of a mess too (usually I keep v together and calm which i think doesn't help iykwim). I have been referred for counselling too which I wanted but that's not going to be for at least a month or two... was scared how I was going to function when dh goes back to work next week (we are both teachers too - me supply though). Think going back to normal routine might help a bit.

try to be as honest as possible I think and say what you have said here. You might have to be a little insistent that you are not coping. Good luck and big unmumsnet hugs.

Thanks for the support Umlella.

Went to the doc and she was lovely. She has put me back on ADs and has asked to see me in a fortnight. She said that various stressful situations have brought on depression, which I am susceptible to due to having PND twice before.

Let's hope I'll pick up soon.