I keep getting sick and panicky and crying about Baby P - I know it isnt normal but I am & need help

[ifthatphoneringsonemoretime]

namechanged etc

When the whole Baby P thing first came in the news I purposefully did not read the newspapers about it as I knew I wouldnt be able to handle the details. I am empathetic to a fault and really internalise stuff like this and many other issues.

I have maintained my rule of not reading much about the case etc as I already knew my heartbreak wasnt going to change anything for the poor child and yet it could have a really harmful impact on me.

Anyway it is pretty impossible to avoid it totally and I have seen enough snippets & heard enough people talk at work that some of the horrific details have been filled in my mind.

I am finding the terror of it and the agony of a little child going through that almost impossible to shut out. I am crying in the night, feeling sick to my stomach etc. I have moments all my life where it feels like I am literally feeling the emotions of other people and this has hit me big. And if I could somehow make it better for poor Baby P by feeling this for him I would have done in a heartbeat but as it is it is doing no one any good.

I just wish I could stop all this madness in the world. But of course I cant. But I am really torn up and feeling all these terrible things & I just cant get it to go away.

How do I move on and how can I stop myself being so empathetic? Trust me I am in no way at all comparing my pain to his at all the whole point is I am intensely aware of the agony his little life was in and I am helpless. But my own mental health is taking a blow from it too and I just dont think that is good either. So what can I do to stop being like this horrible emotional sponge?

gosh SWC. i am astounded at your vitriol and personal comments.

Usually a smart considered poster, i feear you are showing an ugly side. Behave yourself.

gosh SWC. i am astounded at your vitriol and personal comments.

Usually a smart considered poster, i feear you are showing an ugly side. Behave yourself.

unfortunately,as an ex police officer,i know that alot of the details won't be common knowledge here. i actually left my police(special) job in 1995 after working on a child murder case,it shook me to the core. it was a case of a known paedophile being given chance after chance to reform,untill he killed. i will never,ever forget what i saw. i came face to face with the killer only minutes after leaving the crime scene with body still there. i actually took myself down to our custody suite so i could see the living,breathing person that had done this to an 8 year old boy.i left the police shortly after as i knew it obviously wasn't the job for me.he just looked normal.

but now,baby p case,i have a 17 month old little blonde whirlwind ds,youngest of my 5. i have seen his elder sisters playing with him with tears in their eyes,cos so many people comment on how alike he is. my girls are 13 and 15 and i didn't want them knowing the details,but they know. school,internet,friends...they know. we all look at ds,none of us can comprehend how anyone could do that.

i understand how everyone else feels,feel the same,but humans will never cease to baffle me. so many cruel,cruel people out there.

you are very welcome.

be well

I have felt this way about the Soham murders but felt closure when the case was solved (sorry for such 'cold' language).

With the case of Baby Peter it is had to find 'closure' because of the order of information being released IYKWIM.

I have not got caught up in the media frenzy of this case and so I am not traumatically affected. You do need to step away from it and dwell on something more positive for your own good and for the sake of those around you.

With regards to the OP - children are dying all over the world at this very second - if it is such a big thing for you why don't you go out and make a difference, a donation or some voluntry work maybe would be a good starting point.

thers a world of difference tho....a child dying and a child being tortured and murdered. i can't see how the two can compare really

children are tortured beaten and burnt daily

children are maimed, raped and generally treated like nothing. daily.

children are starving. right now.

children are shot

children are kidnapped, forced to join armies aged 7 years old, taught to shoot guns and kill people.

children are used as human bombs

DAILY.

if one takes on board the utter abhorant state of the world and let that emotion absorb into daily life

one wouldnt function

so pull your socks up and contribute, volunteer or do something about it - if this truly bothers you

anything else is just words and self pity

I too have always over-reacted to negative stories in the news (reports of famines, or natural disasters, etc.).

Since having DD, I've become even more sensitive to these stories, to the point of physical response (feeling sick). I assume it's hormonal (I'm still bf-ing), to a certain extent. I have cried many times over the Baby P case, despite castigating myself for being so useless (what good does it do? etc.)

The only thing which has helped has been to set up additional monthly donations to children's charities and overseas aid agencies (GOSH, Barnados, Oxfam, ActionAid, British Red Cross, etc). I also give money and gifts to local children's homes, when possible. It's not much, but I feel at least I am doing something, however small.

When DD is older, I will look into voluntary work which I can fit around my job.

but there were supposed to be frameworks set up to avoid this cruelty. it wasn't good enough. so this is where changes could and should be made.

it was heavily reported on. why do you think this case was singled out from all the other child cruelty cases then?

thats not true - and unwarrented.

your 'predictable' posts are in themselves predictable

argue a point please rather than calling me names

SWC, i hope you can see the irony in having messages deleted, whilst maintaining that i am rude.

Each message deleted has been particularly nasty and personal.

You are being uncharacteristically and exceedingly nasty, is there something else going on?

I ask because i am concerned about you and the disproportionate response.

If you disagreed with what i said, thats fair enough, but the personal attacks by you and poalo are becoming distressing

I agree with every word you have written in your post Custy apart from the fact you have posted it in Mental Health - if it were on any other thread it would be fine imo.

People who post on this thread are allowed their self-pity/sensitivity as good mental health is very hard to come by and the people who post on this board are continually striving for that in a supportive environment.

I think the mental health board is one where only support/empathy/understanding should be offered.

point taken laurie and understood. thank you

I do agree with custy - but custy, your comments are following a rational thought process whereas the OP knows her thoughts are irrational and wants help dealing with them.

I actually felt similar after the tsunami. I had nightmares for several weeks about getting caught in it. I tried to avoid th coverage yet couldn't help myself devour as much detail as I could. In the end, I helped a friend raise cash to take over to a specific village which had been devastated and then volunteered for Oxfam.

OP - hug your dc, avoid the news, do as Gwarchod suggested with the letter thingy, and if you feel these feelings are taking over, perhapss talk to your gp? It does sound like there is a little bit of transference going on here...? Have you had a traumatic childhood? Something which is making you overtkly hypersensitive and anxious?

i'll do some digging, but a year or so ago i read about a lady in Cambodia, a politician, who risks her life over and over again to save little girls from being sold to the paedo trade there.

she comes across girls horribly tortured and abused and murdered from it daily.

but she has devoted her life to acting to stop it and has set up a charity i'll see if i can find.

that can be one way to help.

There are a few options open to you, OP.

You can treat this as something that affects your life, and get some counselling/help, write a letter about your feelings etc. Work on how to blot those thoughts from your mind.

Or you can opt to treat it as something that primarily affects other people, other children, and do something to help them. Volunteer for a charity, do some fundraising, make a donation.

If you think this truly is a mental health issue then you need to act on the former, and if it is just a bit of there-but-for-the-grace-of-god-goes-my-children (only you know this) then do the latter and do it now, because getting yourself into this is not doing you or anyone else any good.

"custy, your comments are following a rational thought process whereas the OP knows her thoughts are irrational and wants help dealing with them"

Exactly what I was trying to formulate, quotethis.

join amnesty international

i have.

i undestand your point anyfcuker.

i do feel that the op should make a concerted effort to address the issue via doing or contributing something. ( as i previously suggested along with others)

i still believe that anything else is just self pity.