Ooh yay. I'm back here.

[Flamesparrow]

I have come off the ADs.

I came off unintentionally (illness made me forget to take them, so ended up sort of weaning off gradually), and now it is too late to start up on them again as by the time they kick in, it will be time to come off so they are out of my system before the baby is born (clear as mud).

BUT... in the meantime it is back.

Yesterday morning I was all convinced I was fine without them. Then I went hysterical last night and haven't settled since.

I have spent the day hiding in bed or yelling at the DC. I was already upset about the state of the house, but now I am drowning in it.

I normally have my mum who is there for escape, help with DC etc but my gran is down this week, so my mum is busy.

I had 10 weeks of feeling sane. I got to "bloom". Why are other people allowed to do pregnancy without cracking up?

Flame you are quite near to me - only 45 mins away.

I am glad you are calmer . If you are freaking though, I can come to you - I mean that 100%. Hope you are getting some good sleep.

Flame dont you live near me or am i getting confused with someone else?

I don't think I do TWR (Bournemouth)

Ali - you are lovely

as are you Trillian obv (well, all of you are lovely!)

I am so much more back to my normal personality of "it will all come together in the end" today

Slightly dubious about tomorrow - no plans as of yet, and no DH. Am avoiding DC where possible today .

glad to hear you're feeling better today Flame. And no cupboards to shove crap in no wonder you're feeling low. Is a trip to ikea possible anytime soon? (can I come, can I come? )

are there any activities running in your aarea you could all go to tomorrow? avoidance and ignorance are my main coping strategies

Flame - glad you had a better day today

Tomorrow the sun is supposed to be out - can you just turf the kids into the garden and leave them to it?

Flame how are you today?

Much better today. Had a bit of a wibble about lunch time, but went and annoyed Psychomum after that which helped.

It looks like I am selling BumFluff which I never thought I would do I am currently feeling very proud that I have created a business worthy of selling.

Brilliant - on both fronts! I did wonder if you were selling when I got the e-mail

I've screamed, I've smacked. Anything I tell him not to do he does anyway. He emptied a box of rice crispies over the floor. I can't find the other half of any bikini and I am meant to be taking them to the beach in an hour.

They keep fighting.

I have thrown washing all round the bathroom.

Flame - I just wanted to let you know that no matter how bad things get your children will always love you. (Tis Mad bytheway)

I understand the feeling - I get both post and pre natal depression and am still on AD's 3 years after DS2's birth, but I am OK, the boys are OK - well better than OK and both survived everything I threw at them during preganancy inc an operation at 20 weeks preg with DS1, aniti ems injections 3 times a day for both pregs, AD's for DS2 and codine before op with DS1.

You need to take each day at a time. Have you considered homestart????? As you know I swallowed my pride before the mastectomy and contacted them and we have the most wonderful helper, retired primary school teacher who has 3 grown up boys and is just fantastic. She even came and rescuded the boys when I got a flat (I dont have a spare)

TBH - All that matters is that they are fed and have clean bottoms.

Do you have a surestart centre nearby???? I found getting out better - I would just get clothes out the night before (sometimes DH had to) and then would go and leave all the shit and mess behind

You have my email address - feel free to chat anytime.

Flame I missed this earlier - you ok now?

I seem to be flitting between feeling fine and that it is all nothing, to just being a crumpled heap like most of today.

My mum is sick of me crying

Thank you Tea btw

I took them to the beach with a a friend for a bit, but managed to burn them so now feel even more useless

Flame, can I second the Homestart suggestion? When I was about 22 weeks with DD3, I gave in & asked for a helper. Rosie is just fab, and I can go out or stay in, whatever, while she occupies DDs 1&2 for a couple of hours.

You do know that being a parent is like being bipolar. Its either really good or really shite - no in between.

I felt like my two were parasites when pregnant (not nice, but true)

Sorry for not coming back to this.

Was trying to go with the theory that if I ignored the thread I would feel better

I only have another week and then they are both gone for at least half a day every week day.

DS may not survive that long though.

As fast as I am getting on top of things round the house, he destroys something else. He keeps blocking the loo with toilet roll, scattering loo roll round the house (dry stuff), he pulled a shelf off the wall yesterday so we have that mess too (our walls crumble), and this morning he even decided to p*ss out of the kitchen window which is just hideous - why would he do that?? To make matters worse, where he is a short 3 yr old he didn't get out of the window so it was all over the side, again, for me to clean.