Okay, what kicks depression in the bollocks?

[ABitWrong]

There must be something.

dior, yes sorry
I'm completely wrong
sorry

thanks, I don't know, I am already in the system, I just have to get through this summer then I think things might improve but then again they might not because I don't know what is going to happen

My GP only gives me enough pills for one month - I guess that this is standard practise?

Do you have the local crisis team's number? Call them if you do - they are there to help.

I get three months at a time
but I've never been on suicide watch

I think you need to call the crisi team

why do you need to get through the summer on your own (without help I mean)

But things are scary as they are, aren't they? The thoughts you have, the things you do to cope... you shouldn't have to live like that. No-one likes ADs or therapy but it can make such a difference to your quality of life. For me, it meant no longer dreading each day and not living in fear of myself. They're not a miracle cure but they can help give you a break while you are trying to get back on track.

Sorry... for some reason it took ages to post and now you have said why you are scared of pills

I do understand... it's a tricky situation. But, they can and do treat suicidal people with drugs. They can do things like prescribe relatively safe drugs (i.e. if you OD they won't do you much damage) or prescribe them a week at a time so that you can't OD and then, when you are more stable they can give you a month or more at a time. But, if you feel at risk of even ones you can buy OTC, please tell your dr how serious this is.

I don't know. It is all too surreal. I keep thinking this can't be me, my life. There has been a mistake somewhere.

I can't do anything over the summer because I am up to my eyes in children.

And Trinity is right, once you start to feel a bit better, you won't want to OD anyway. But you have to get there first and that's the hard bit.

It does feel surreal, doesn't it? But this is your life... it's not how your life should be and it won't always be like this. Children do make dealing with this kind of thing hard. If I were closer, I'd offer to help.

Actually, I AM closer, aren't I?! Can I help? Babysitting or something?

It's just all so stupid andI don't see why I can't just cope or at least stop effing crying.

Um..don't know.
We could meet up again, that would be nice.
I am better with good company. I probably won't even cry on you.

Because you are not well, sweetie. That's why. Let's meet up. Crying is ok, I wouldn't mind at all. But no threatening to kick people, ok?

ADs would at least help with the crying thing. Sending a MN pat on the back.

Thank you everybody for being lovely xx

I'll just chuck this bit in as it hasn't been mentioned - medium to long term depression / anxiety will lead to a change in your brain chemical make-up.

Therefore, the AD's are necessary to redress that balance and give you the opportunity to be able to talk / deal with the root cause(s).

I've not long started on a low dose of AD's myself, and there's a definate improvement and difference.

I express it as that I should be 6 foot tall (i wish, but anyway...), but I've been squashed down to 5 foot. So I need to be stretched to 6' 6" so that when I stop being stretched, I can return to 6 foot.

ABW.

I'll meet you too
And hold your hand virtually.

I'm not coping

Sounds from what you say like you may have clinical depression (in that, what you say you feel sounds similar to what I was feeling/thinking, and that was what I was diagnosed with). Go and speak to your GP. (s)he will help. ADs (I have found) are actually really helpful, even if its just for a period to "reset" yourself to normal, as jujusdad said. Go and speak to them - you will feel better just getting it out in the open, I promise.

I may have to.

Thank you all for being so kind xx

Anti-ds. I couldn't live without them.

Talking therapy.

Exercise.

How are you today, ABW?

Hello LR
I moved to this thread