Is it stress or pd creeping up on me? HELP!!

[Dumpy]

I feel so guilty even typing this but need advice as I'm too embarassed to tell anyone! Ever since my 2nd daughter was born 8 months ago I don't want to be near my 5 year old. I sometimes even push her off me when she's giving me a hug. I feel so guilty all the time but she annoys me even if she's asking me a simple question or doing something that isn't even naughty I still end up having a go at her. I had postnatel Depression when I had her 5 years ago but only found out when she was one. I seemed to feel exactly the same towards my husband then but now I just seem to be taking it out on my 5 year old! I don't feel depressed ALL the time, just when my older daughter is around. I hate myself for saying all this but I can feel myself getting worse so I know it can't go on any longer. Please could anyone give me some advice on what to do because my daughter has started being naughty and I know it's my fault.

no advise, but your a strong person to admit it, even if it is only on MN, so maybe you can find the courage to visist your GP or HV

Dumpy, I think you need to talk to someone about this. Did you get counselling as part of your treatment for PND? It sounds as if there might be some unresolved issues, maybe stirred up again by the arrival of DD2, which you need to address, and sooner rather than later. Can you go to your GP and tell them what you have told MN and ask to be bounced onto a counsellor?

Last time I had PD I was on tablets for about a year and that was that. I didn't think I needed counselling, I wasn't offered it anyway. I haven't gone to the docs because they will probably just say it's stress or something. It started Just after my 2nd daughter was born so its gone on for a while now (8 months). I don't feel like I can't cope because I love looking after my baby and don't find it hard at all. I will make an appointment for the docs and see what they say.