What do you do if you really can't cope anymore?

[havetobeanon]

Please forgive the need to be anon. I cannot cope with my life. The past week has just confirmed it for me. I have no enjoyment, I cannot cope with my children and I can't see a way to get my life back on track. I have suffered depression on and off for a long time but I have never been this low If I go to my doctor tomorrow what do I say? What will they do? A big big part of me wants to go away for a while. I don't want a prescription for some pills and a promise to see a counsellor in 6 weeks. I feel a real danger to myself, I feel almost that my actions are not my own iyswim. I feel almost ridiculous going to my doctor and saying that I'm suicidal but I don't know what else to say, I've come to realise that it is the truth. And I'll have my dc with me, I don't want them to hear that

Sorry I can't be of much help but didn't want your post to go unanswered.
Go to your doctor and you will no doubt be able to let them know how you are feeling. perhaps write it down in case you feel you might break down in front of DCs.
They will probably ask some questions designed to guage the extent of your depression/anxiety. These are fairly standard.
Even a prescription and a 'promise' may keep you going and give you hope.
make an appointement and keep posting.

Firstly, yes, go to the gp. Stress how urgent this feels and they will no doubt refer you to a mental health team. If you are worried about harming yourself, there will be a crisis number you can ring - I guess it will be in your phone book. I have used mine once before and they really helped. You are not alone and there is help out there.

It sounds ridiculous to 'want' to be committed iyswim, but I cannot cope on my own. I am a very logical person usually, I have gone to the doctors so many times in the last year since dc2 was born with the plan to actually tell them how I feel but I've always told them somehting else. I have worried that if I admit I can't cope that they will take my dc away but even that thought isn't deterring me this time so I know this is the worst I've felt. tbh I feel that I just want to be in a quiet room somewhere but it goes deeper than that iyswim. My whole life feels such a mess I have no idea where to even start

I don't have personal experience but have read many times that the Dr will not be thinking of taking your DCs away.
You have 'started' by talking here tonight and you can continue by talking to the dr.

Do you have a partner who is with you and can give you support?

No, my partner left when I was pg with dc2 which is a big part of the problem tbh. I feel I have been holding it together, just about, but I think for whatever reason it's taken me a while to realise that he has gone, and this is my life now, and tbh I am not happy. I left my job in the last pregnancy then it all started to crumble. I can't bear the thought of having to pour my heart out to the GP in my allocated 10 minutes only to be sent away. I know I need to go. I spent most of today in bed

How about family, friends in RL?
Where are you in the country?

I have to go to bed now but will check tomorrow to see how you are.

Morning.How are you today?