Tips for coping on a difficult trip

[chocolatestar]

I have to go abroad with DH and DS who is 20 months and I am very anxious about it. I strugle with anxiety generally and I think this trip will be difficult for a number of reasons.

We will be staying with his family in a country where I do not speak the language and where I find a number of things challenging in terms of the culture - mainly the food, the smoking, the unsafe transport and the attitude to women. I can put up with these things alone but I think with DS it is going to be really hard. I am worried about getting into situations where I am not happy with DS - lots of people smoking around him for example or him being given things I don't want him to have like innapropriate toys or food.

I am also stressed because I won't be able to do any exercise which probably sounds silly but it is one of the ways that I cope with my anxiety and as I have a history of disordered eating I find my anxiety increases hugely if I am not doing any exercise at all. It is not possible to run there (I tried once and was chased by a pack of wild dogs! - suppose it could make my running faster!!). Can't discuss this concern with DH as he just gets annoyed and sees it as part of my illness which in a way it is but I would rather be able to do a bit of exercise than deal with the awful anxiety I get if I can't.

We will be away for three weeks. I think it is going to be very difficult.

Think about ways you can 'chunk' your anxieties.

The exercise- Can you take a skipping rope, a dyna-band some ankle weights or anything that you can use in a smaller area? Put your i pod in and imagine you are at the gym!

It sounds like loss of control is a problem for you.

With your ds being given 'inappropriate things' to eat- will any of these things actually harm him? or are they things you just wouldn't have chosen? On holiday it is rare, whatever the country, to find the food you would have chosen to feed your kids at home with.

Would there be anything wrong in you politely excusing yourself in smoky areas to get some fresh air with ds?

I think it is about the control issue - you've hit the nail on the head. I will have no control over there over anything at all.

The food thing probably won't be too bad for him actually. We have some relatives with us at the moment who bought him a load of model cars that are not suitable for babies. One of them actually says not for children under 14! I pointed this out but they still insisted on opening it and giving it to him. I then spent the morning trying to find a way to get it off him with out DS or relaitves noticing. They are not safety minded in the way we are over here. For example no one wears seat belts. We will have to take a car seat as they don't have them there. They will think that is weird. In fact we will struggle to find cars with seat belts in them to attach the car seat.

A skipping rope is a good idea - that won't take up much packing space either.

I think you will just have to be more vigilant without looking like a weirdo overprotective Mum. It is only for 3 weeks. Try and think of the positives, meeting family, sharing ds, maybe going out just with dh?

Yes it will pass. There will be no going out with just DH - it's just not like that. The last time I went there I was told by one of his family who did speak English that 'this is not a holiday for you'. Hopefully having ds there will make it easier - it will keep me busy anyway and give me someone to talk to!