Getting worried that the summer hols will tip me over the edge

[NervousNutty]

School hols have always been the point where I sturggle and start to fall apart, but as the dc have got older it had started to get slightly easier.

Thing is, I have been having alot of trouble with the dc lately, and I know that it will get worse during the holiday.

I struggle with us having no routine, and suddenly hving to cope with them 24/7.
They will go to their dads one afternoon a week and overnight on a friday still but I just end up feeling so overwhelmed.

I feel like i am only just coping at the moment as it is.

Can you make a holiday routine? See whats on in the area, plan something for each day (even if it's just dvd/popcorn) ? How old are they? sports/leisure centres have different things for a few hours/days/week. I am getting worried too - sat/sun on my own is bad enough.

Yeah we normally do the dvd thing if the weather is rubbish nd try and free or cheapy outdoor stuff when it is nice but quite often it goes wrong because they will moan non stop and i will wish i'd not bothered.

Can you organise some kind of meet up every day? Look at what's on locally - even very simple things, like story time at the library, can give some structure to your week. Make up a timetable so that you have something to do as a family outside the house every day and will not therefore sit around in pyjamas!

No one to met up with, but the other stuff we will do yeah. I think the girls did a couple of the library things last year.

Can be hard finding something that they all want to do, and we have to rely on buses too so distance is sometimes a problem.

Will check the local council site later and see what they have up.

Just wanted to say that I'm with you!

I've been unwell the last few months and struggle to get through the day as it is.

It's the squabbling I can't stand, and the constant mess-making, which I then have to clear up.

My kids are 3, 5 and 9. I can't even take them all swimming together as all our local pools insist on a one to one ratio of adults to children under a certain age; theatre and film is impossible as my 3 year old won't sit still for five minutes, libraries also hard for this reason.

3 year old also runs for the first few hours of the day, then stops dead and asks to be carried, so trips up to town are very challenging without two adults in tow.

Oh gosh - sorry to moan OP! Just wanted to say I know how difficult it can be, especially when you haven't got a lot of emotional and/or physical energy on tap.

No no moan away, I know exactly how you feel.

Mine are 11,9 and 6 and them all agreeing one what to do is a very rare thing so makes for lots of arguments.

well you just need to plan things and stick to it - summer hols are special for kids so try to make it

alternatiely get a job and stick them in a playscheme

Well - no harm in putting a bit of pressure on re: disappointing your children.

Nervous - I have just set up a yahoo group - summerholidaysurvival, for mums from my dc's school, so we can keep in touch with each other easily and meet up during the holidays. Each year we all make noises about getting together for picnics and visits, and then it doesn't happen because people don't know when other people are around or are shy about phoning. It's especially hard where I am as lot of the mums have large families of diverse ages, no cars and hardly any money.

Maybe you could do something like this?

Have a word with your local council or email them. Where I live the council does a free booklet in the summer with free things going on for kids. Football, tennis schools, picnics in parks, treasure hunts etc...

They might be able to give you some info?

I hope it works out okay, I take mine out and they just want , want, want - (I sound like my mother!).

Take Care

Oh yes it's oh so simple Connie

If I didn't know that the summer hols are special for kids, and if I didn't want to try and make it less shitty than normal for them, then i'd not have posted would I, as I wouldn't care.

Thanks for the ideas, everyone else, will pop in the library this week and see if they have any leaflets for local stuff.

well its not rocket science - kids want entertaining so entertain them! Mine are much easier if I put in some effort and at least try to have a purpose - of course things get fractious if you are all cooped up all day.

I do put in effort, sorry it is not up to your mother of the year standards.

Other than the bit about going to their Dad's Friday night and one afternoon I could have written your posts.
I struggle with the lack of the routine of school, the arguing etc.
Mine are nearing 13, 10 & 7 and don't want to do the same things.
I don't drive so that's limeting and have few friends who arn't rushing all around the country or working.
By the time they've got dressed had brekkie it's almost lunchtime......
Sorry to go on about my feelings but your definately not alone feeling like this.

Some councils run free or very minimal cost playschemes - might be worth checking out certainly for the younger two. Round here there was one last year where the kids didn't even need to be booked in, they could just show up and stay.

I agree with drawing up a plan - put it on paper and at least you've got a framework for every day.

IMO you don't need to entertain them ALL the time in order for them to have special memories of summer. We lived in a council flat when I was a kid and had no money but I look back so fondly.

I would say the main thing you can do above all, is to work on keeping calm. Yes with 3 kids there will be arguments and chaos; there just WILL. You can't stop all that and in fact you don't need to. They're learning alot by just being together. I'd seriously think about ways to work on keeping cool as a cucumber and maybe it will all seem easier.

Don't let the kids pressure you into feeling you should be entertaining them, either. Kids do that when they're bored - and if you're a lone parent it can be hard to stand that pressure but so long as you've done SOMETHING with them each day, and are kind and loving to them, that is IT, imho!!!

Agree that not having loads of organised activities isn't necessarily a bad things. Kids need to have time to slope around and dream.

here

Keep an eye on The Guardian Family section over the next few weeks - they are bound to do a surviving the summer holidays feature. They did one this week on holidaying with small children ("It's like being at home, but grimmer" ), really made me laugh:

right here

i totally understand. ive been suffering anxiety and i always find the long summer holidays horrendous. i have tried planning things to do but the truth is i just dont enjoy it and i dont really want to do it. My boys argue and shout and moan so much that it just sends me utterly miserable.
i am really envious of my next door neighbour who loves and adores the holidays and is sad when theyre over . i so wish i were like that!
mine dont want to do anything i suggest anyway. they like fishing and golfing and stuff with there dad and i dont drive so its limited anyway.
sorry no good suggestions but your not alone