If you are depressed for an actual reason is it still worth taking anti-depressants?

[anonymoustoday]

I am having a shit time at work and a difficult pregnancy (hyperemesis) - have felt sick for 4 months (as well as much vomiting of course) and am completely useless around the house. I cry all the time in front of dcs and am constantly thinking about killing myself though I know I wouldn't because I know that would be worse for the children than even a completely useless mother. I self-harm a little bit (just a little bit of cutting) which really helps with the pressure.
I know this is all not sensible behaviour but thing is, as the problem is about more than just me being down, surely if I take anti-depressants the problems will still be there? And I know lots of doctors don't like prescribing things in pregnancy. Or if I got anti-depressants would that make me able to float over all the problems and not mind?

bump

i don't know, but it is definitely worth asking your gp for help.

modern ads don't make you 'float' over your problems they just kind of boost your ability to cope. and yes it is possible to take them while pregnancy, though it can take months for the effect to kick in.

good luck and take care

Thanks Chevre.
Boosting my ability to cope is what I need. The work stuff would be shit even if I was fine but I would be able to cope with it if it wasn't for the other stuff. I would probably still be down re the sickness even if I was good at coping, but the work stress is currently making the sickness worse and so perhaps if I was managing the work thing better I would not actually be so sick.

sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Hyperemesis is crap isn't it and so difficult for others to understand.Have you considered counselling? I think it would help more than ADs as you really sound as if you need some support rather than tablets? Counselling can definitely boost your ability to cope IMHO.

See the doctor, and tell them about the situations and how you are currently reacting /managing them.

Do you have a hr dept at work, or the most senior approachable staff member who could support you. Stress/pregnancy problems should be an issue for any employer (legally)

wheres the father?

You need some people to rely on,for child care,housework,emotional support.
If they are not around ,or give you a hard time, then maybe sure start might be helpful?

Just because you are keeping it together for the kids doesnt mean that you are not manageing. you need to sort this, and take it seriously.

If you are feeling suicidal then I would get to the GP and get some ADs and counselling right away and make sure you tell your GP how serious it is. Obviously the ADs won't make your problem go away but like Chevre said they will help you to deal with it better. Everything seems 10 times worse when you've got depression.

Mental health is a big deal, please don't think you are being overly sensitive or moany or a burden. It's really important you get some help. Look after yourself x

I would definitely get some ADs and it sounds like counselling is a good idea too. ADs won't mask the problems, just make it easier for you to cope and do what you need to do to tackle them, if that's what you want to do. They won't take months to work, I was prescribed sertraline when I was pregnant and iirc it kicked in within about ten days.

Do go to your GP, I think you will feel much better when you have taken a positive step

Thanks all.
DH is doing all the housework and 99% of the childcare (as well as his own job, of course). He is supportive but I feel so guilty about the pressure I am putting him under.

Is it really that easy to get prescribed ADs or access counselling? I hadn't thought about counselling; it is a sensible idea but it just seems like it'll be so hard to manage when I have trouble getting myself to ante-natal appointments.

Tattycoram did the sertraline really make you feel better? I was prescribed amitryptiline a very long time ago when I was a student but it made things worse and I took an overdose . I don't think I would do that now though.

Is there a peri-natal team your midwife/consultant could refer you to? Many hospitals offer a support/counselling service specifically for pregnant women, and can help ante-natally and after the baby is born when any depression/self harming can escalate.

It should be easy to get counselling and ADs although there is a waiting list for counselling in some areas. Good idea asking the midwife too. If your GP tries to fob you off, go and see another GP.

If there is a reason why you are depressed, then taking antidepressants will make you more able to deal with whatever is causing the depression. Look on them as temporary support to help you through a stressful time, and then you can come off them (with support from gp obviously) when things improve.

In your situation, I would hope that the gp would refer you quickly to the local mental health team, and perhaps a community psychiatric nurse could come and visit you.

I hope you do feel better soon - I have suffered from depression since my teens, and am on antidepressants whilst waiting for a place in a psychotherapy group. I'm on citalopram, and it enables me to get through the day and do the basics - but each day that I achieve something, however small, makes me feel better about myself so though the antidepressants don't make my mood 'normal', they do make me able to help myself, which is a good thing.

You've pretty much convinced me on anti-depressants.
I just need to get through the pregnancy. Once I'm not being sick any more hopefully things will be better. And I need to leave things in a good enough situation at work that I will a. not be dreading going back and b. be certain of having a job to go back to.
Now I just have to manage to get myself to the doctor and see what they say. I am absolutely dreading talking to them about it, tbh.