Where is the line between being tired and having PND?

[plantsitter]

And is there anything you can do to make sure you don't cross it? DD is 4.5 months and I am constantly tired (despite her only waking once in the night now), feel like I'm doing rubbishly as a mum, everything feels difficult, I wouldn't care if I never had sex again and I'm extremely highly strung which is most unlike me. I also feel like DP is getting exasperated with me and am not sure how much of this is true and how much I am projecting as he says he's not.

Are these just normal new mum feelings or am I losing grip on things? Depression is in my family so I think we all tend to assume someone is depressed when they are not necessarily, and I don't want to go onto ADs for no reason. Are there any techniques to keep afloat?

what worked well for me was a baby massage course, both me and babe found it really relaxing - though I had PND quite severely and did need meds. if you are really concerned then talk (if your DH will), it is not an easy thing adjusting to a new baby for either of you. Be kind to yourself.

I am sorry that you are feeling low. What you describe is very common.

If you do this questionaire, Edinburgh scale it will give an indication whether you actually depressed or just very tired.

I suggest that you contact your health vistor. There are other things you can try if you don't want to go down the AD route. Also your health visitor would be able to give a professional opinon whether you have clinical depression or not.

Thanks for the messages. I did do a baby massage course and really enjoyed it so perhaps I should find another one to go on.

Thanks for the link, reallytired; looks like i need too see the doctor. I guess I knew that really.

Hi Plantsitter,

Try not to let this get you too down in the dumps as you will feel better! No One can prepair you for a first baby and all the things it brings! I have always wanted children for as long as I can remember, I now have two little angels, but no one could have prepared me for the ups and downs of motherhood! I started to suffer from anxiety/panic disorder when my ds1 was about 8 months old, but I got through and went on to have a 2ds! the happy times always outweight the bad/sad for me! So hang on in there as it does get easier!

Your GP will advise you as to what is the best course of treatment for you!

Keep us posted on how you get on and were alway here to chat!

x x x

Firstly, plantsitter, I hope you are feeling better.

This thread title is the exact same question that I ask myself day after day. DS is 10 months old and I still find it all so hard. Although he's not a dreadful sleeper I haven't had a proper night's sleep since he was born. I find myself in tears quite a lot and feeling down - I'm always 'starting again' to pick myself back up if that makes sense. And it does usually work for a while. My problem is that I just don't know what the parameters are for feeling down, as a new first-time mum - is this how most people feel in the first year? I know other mums but those that I know really well cope fine and the ones that I don't know as well have much harder things to deal with and I wouldn't dream of starting to moan on to them.

I find it hard to sleep and DP and I have to sleep in different rooms.

I've done the Edinburgh questionnaire and I seem to come out just above the limit, at 12ish. But I'm not convined I have PND. I just need a bit more support, I guess.

I always wanted two DCs but am beginning to think I couldn't do it, which is very sad and not normal, surely?

Bump?

Have just been hanging out the washing with tears streaming down my face. This isn't normal, is it?

Hello Sadmum,

I don't know what's normal as I'm only on DS1. I'm finding it tough too. Do you have other new mums locally that you can hang out with? Or a friend to chat to? A lot of the problems I've had up til now, my friends have also faced, but no one seems to talk about it. Maybe try out the local breastfeeding support group to help you get out and about and see how other people are finding it?

Sorry I can't be much more help, but I'm sending you lots of best wishes.
xx

Thanks for answering Roo. I feel a bit better today but have made an appointment with the GP for next week. I do get out and about and have baby friends but you're right, no-one talks about how tough they are finding anything until about three months later!

How old is your DS? Hope you're getting lots of support. Best wishes to you too. x