The slope is very slippery

[FabulousBakerGirl]

and it is scary how quick it becomes that way.

I need some self respect. Where do I get it from?

I know.

I am a very bad wife.

I am scared of life at times.

You are nice, and you deserve to be treated well by other nice people, and to ve a happy life. It sounds like contacting this other guy is something you are doing because part of you wants to be treated badly, because it doesn't believe you deserve to have things be good. It's not true.

no one else would be able to do this to me

no no no no no no no no no no

I am not going down that road again

being treated bad is all i know

which hurts dh as he has treated me brilliantly in the 13 years we have been together

FBG - you can change that negative cycle. You do deserve better - keep telling yourself and you will believe it You're doing it for you, dh and the dc. Whereas letting yourself be dragged down by people with dishonourable intentions will make you unhappy - ergo your family. Change your phone number and forget the OM. It will get easier and easier as time passes.

I do so well for so long then something sets me back. I don't know how to just push it aside without it becoming a bigger deal that it needs too.

It is like with the kids. I am brilliant when they are ill or really need me but crap at the every day stuff - reading to them, playing with them.

Big stuff is fine, it is the little things that really don't matter that throw me.

FBG you sound very hard on yourself. Bet your kids dont think you are crap at the every day stuff.

We are not born entertainers, take your lead from your kids, let them suggest things to do with you and see what happens.

Or run around the park with them!

And sounds like you have a great DH so you must be doing something right. Ignore this om, change your contact details if you can.