I have always had a fear of wasps for as long as I can remember. I have never been stung by one. I think it may have partially come from my mum who used to tell me how she was attacked by two wasps and they stung her clevage and her chest reallt swelled up and she had to go to hosp. She also told me how she got stung in bed one day as a wasp got in the window whilst she was asleep.
The fear has got worse and better over the years. I seem to be really afriad at the start of summer and by the end have become a bit more used to them. I still dance around and scream and run off if one comes near me though.
I rememeber one occasion when I was in my car with dh (then dp) and a wasp had got in to the car and flew in my face. I shouted f*ck and completely let go of the steering wheel. Thankfully I opened the window and it flew straight out but I just have a totally irrational respinse to them.
More recently I suffered from some mild depression and was on AD's last aug. I found at that time my wasp fear developed in to a full blown phobia to the point I would rather stay in than take my son out for a walk as I was so afraid.
I have had conselling and am feeling a lot better now. Everything is going well except the phobia is still there as bad as ever.
Now it is 'that time of yer' again it's really affecting me. My dh is worried and thinks I need to get help for it as it affects my every day life. last year there were a few occasions when wasps flew at me whilst I was pushing ds in the buggy and my immediate instinct is to let go of the buggy and flap around until the wasp has gone. This makes me feel really , I just can't conrol my reaction. I feel like such a bad mother that my first reaction is not to protect my baby boy. He's 19 months old now. I'm obviously very concerned that this will happen again one day and when I let go his buggy will roll in to the road or something equally as bad.
One got in the lounge whilst my dh was gardening the other week and I went to just run out of the room immediately. I then managed to muster some courage from somewhere and grab ds, then run out of the room whilst shouting at dh to get it out.
I am constantly on 'wasp watch' whenever i'm out, any buzzing at all has me on edge. I'm considerably better if i'm out with dh as I feel he will 'protect' me and ds. I'm scared to have doors and windows open, even at night when i'm too hot in bed. We can't have the car windows open but thankfully have air con. I don't like wearing bright colours when out in case I attract them. If my hair tickles my neck I assume it's a wasp. If I hear someone cutting their grass outside I stop and listen as I think it's a wasp buzzing.
Anyway, the point I am at now is that it is an absolutely glorious day outside and I really love being out in the sun but I just can't go out. I'll go to the beach with dh when he finishes work no problem but on my own i'm scared stiff . I don't feel confident to protect ds if one comes near. The anxiety I feel when I see one os so great I'd rather just stay in than deal with it.
I feel i'm letting my son down, he could be in his paddling pool now ir having a nice walk down the road but instead we're just stuck in.
I mentioned it to my counsellor but he hasn't suggested anything, I don't think he's that type of counsellor. He just deals with relationships between people iyswim.
I'm so sick of this, I just want to be free