Dp's mental health issues getting me down

[LaDiDaDi]

link to my original thread

It was suggested that I post this on here for some advice and support.

I've already cancelled the holiday .

I don't want to feel resentful but I do.

You're right to have cross-posted. Why cannot you go on your own with the little ones? It sounds like he can't be left?

I don't really have a lot of advice for you - its a really hard situation and no wonder you feel bad - your holiday has been ruined.

I hope someone can come along and give you some support - I don't really feel qulaified to do so as I am the one that causes the trouble like this in our lives! But I didn't want you to think noone was listening to you.

take care

I'm pregnant and I don't want to go alone with dd who's 3.

Thanks tribpot and Weegiemum.

I'm not sure if this is possible but could he get a doctors letter that means you could at least reclaim some of the money back from the holiday.

You could then maybe look at spending it on a holiday for you ll in the UK, or at least for days out. It sounds like you need some sort of escape

oops, that should read "for you all"

We have been able to get back 50% of the accommodation costs but our flights are with easyjet, and they're not exactly known for generosity.

He can't get a doctors letter as essentially pretty much no holiday insurancecovers for depression/anxiety affecting your ability to go.

God I feel for you!!

Am in similar situation with my DH.

He has been ill for a year on and off and eventually have had enough and asked him to go back to his family in Ireland to give me a break

but I feel soooo guilty as his sisters are texting me all the time saying he would be better off here etc...but he is still ill in Ireland and feel selfish for saying I am not ready yet (if ever) to have hm back..

I have 2 small LOs and need to put them first after putting him first for a whole year iyswim.

Hi LaDiDaDi -I've been in a very similar situation but DH thankfully going through a good patch so things do get better.

I know how hard it is and how you end up being effectively a single parent to 2 kids - and it is doubly hard when you are pregnant. My DH had a really bad period of depression when I was pregnant with dd2 - I felt as if I had no support to the point where I didn't have any downs screening etc - as I felt I wouldn't know what to do if the result was bad.

All I can suggest is you try and find someone to offload to. I found I just bottled everything up and finally I've started to go and see a counsellor for me. It has been great - and I would highly recommend it if you can get your GP to refer you. My Counsellor has recommended a book - 'Living with the black dog' which is supposed to be excellent but I haven't bought it yet.

Just remember that there will be an end to the depression - I'm assuming your DH is on ADs? and you will get him back as a partner again soon - rather than you being the carer.

He stopped taking them around Xmas but he has a new prescription from today.

I totally relate to you both sundew and simpson. I often feel that even if he is with me and dd in body then he is not there in spirit. I feel that he is losing out on dd's early life and that I am effectively on my own with her. Sometimes things are good but I don't know how long I can go on giving support without getting anything back in return when I need it.

Ladidadi - yes our youngest is 15mths (DS also 3) and DH will probably miss her first steps as she is pretty near walking now.

TBH I don't know how you cope while being pg

My heart goes out to you its not easy...

If I can help in anyway let me know...