Year long wait for therapy feel rubbish can anyone help?

[sb9]

Hi, I have had depression for long time now. I dont really understand it as I am not someone who lies in bed or cannot function, I can and do enjoy myself but i have episodes where I am like a different person, I get angry,cry say I dont want to live etc.
I also can look on the outside as if i am enjoying myself but inside feel nothing.

I know where this has come from (childhood divorce of parents) and I did go to psychodynamic psychotherapy but as I coldnt afford to carry on I have been left with a huge anger problem as the feeling came to the surface.

I went through the NHS was told to wait 8 months and had an appoinmtne today to be told its a year wait! I burst into tears and they said there was nothing they could do.

What do i do now? She offered me group depression therapy in the meantime or go private CBT or go back to psychodynamic psychotherapy, I am so stuck please help...

Can you find the money somehow for the psychodynamic psychotherapy? Won't it be worth it in the long run?

Spent £2,000 on it already and am not working now as had a baby. Great if i know it will work would do it tomorrow but unsure...

Is it worth taking the group therapy? Also can you go back to the doctor and see if they have anthing else they can offer you? i've been waiting since last october but been seeing a mental health nurse for last couple of months ~ i think this was at her discretion because it was taking so long for my actual referral to come through! If you keep pestering them maybe they'll get you some help quicker.
Take care x

Personally I think it would work if you got to the point where you found a big feeling coming to the surface - next step would be to deal with it in therapy, surely?

Where in the UK are you? You could find a trainee willing to provide discount hterapy - if it's someone nearly qualified they will be perfectly able to provide therapy but won't yet be able to charge full-price. many student therapists would jump at the chance as the therapy would count as practice hours so may even do it for free. you could search online for your nearest training course and phone and ask. also many cities have subsidised counselling services.

Im in the Midlands. The therapist called me today to ask me to come in again as she doesnt want to send me for CBT next week as she is not sure its the way to go, she wants to see me with a collegue.

The big emotion that came to the surface has been anger. Its weird, I have always suffered from low mood and I do just bounce back but after a familiy bust up I just havent be able to. I then went to private therapy and my sadness has just turned to anger which i am taking out on my hubby and feel am very stuck with. Its so hard to explain as i wasnt abused or beaten or anything but did have a traumatic childhood emotionally that i think i pretended to myself i had dealt with.