What's wrong with me?

[Shitsville]

I feel like I'm going crazy, I'm starting to feel detached from myself.

I sometimes feel really high, completely happy with everything, like nothing is an issue, there are no problems, only opportunities, I love everyone, myself included and thank god for how lucky I am.

Then I suddenly feel like shit. Like today I just want to run away. I cannot be bothered with anything. EVERYTHING is a huge problem. The thought of going to pick the kids up from school fills me with dread, I just cannot face the thought of another dull 'evening', same old crap, shit on TV, homework, crap food, bed, wake up, same shit, different day......

Sometimes I just get the sudden urge to do something really stupid. Like break all the eggs for something to do. To pour all the milk down the sink, to skwirt washing up liquid all over the kitchen, the thought of DP coming in seeing a huge mess ammuses me, I have no idea why, if he did anything like that, I'd hit the roof and keep on going.

The way I feel right now I could happily just get on a bus, travel to somewhere miles away and live happily ever after on my own.

But yesterday I felt so happy what is wrong with me? I feel like shit, well and truely.

Sorry you're feeling so crap SV - if I were you I'd go to the doc's, because there might be a medical reason (hormonal?) for your mood swings. Have you tried keeping a mood diary to see if there's a pattern?

I tried but it's so random, it could be a quick change within minutes ... I could feel like crying one minute, or even start crying and then I'll make a drink and suddenly feel on top of the world, this could happen a few times a day or perhaps once a week, its just so random. I've always been pretty similar to be honest but lately I worry I might do something stupid. Nothing harmful, just something so ridiculous that people start to think I'm lost it and I'll end up sectioned or something, that's how bad I feel.

Poor you - sounds really confusing! I really think you should talk to your GP. (Don't worry - s/he will be glad to listen).

Have you been feeling like this for a long time or is it reasonably new? Try and think of examples (like above) to tell your GP to help them work out what's going on. Then hopefully you will be able start sorting it out!

GOod luck

your GP can do a depression test on you similar to the one you had after birth, I was amazed I badly I scored things I didn't even realise were related. Make an appointment, I had similar feelings before I was diagnosed with PND, I remember DH finding a dent in the hall floor and asked "how'd that happen" I replied " I threw a cup down the stairs" why because I was pissed off! Very out of character for me.