DH a rock when I'm depressed, and a grumpy arse when I'm not - anyone else?

[flamingobingo]

DH seems to become so bloody grumpy as soon as I come out of a depression - why? It's like he feels inadequate whenever I'm happy.

I've been very well the last few days, but yesterday, his first day off for a while, he's been completely grumpy and horrible. The nicest part of the day was when he was out having a driving lesson.

And he's been a grumpy arse this morning too!

I think some of it may be work, but he's had the same work situation for ages, and it's only when I get better that he gets grumpy.

I'm starting to think that it's me being depressed that helps him cope with any crap going on at work? Or that he feels he only makes an important contribution at home when I'm depressed because the rest of the time I'm so on top of things?

Has anyone else had this? Can anyone offer some advice because right now I'm thinking I'm going to pretend to be depressed the whole time if it's the only way I can make him at all pleasant to be with!

That's v interesting. There is an old Ian McEwan story The Comfort of Strangers?? where a couple 'take it in turns' to feel low.

I don't know what the explanation is, but at least yout partner is able to step up to the mark when you are low. That is something isn't it? When I am low it makes my partner angry and sulky, so there is no one to put on a bright face for the children. That makes me feel awful. It makes the family feel like a black pit.

Yes, wonderful in that respect, certainly, but we get very little happy together time though

He spend a lot of time saying 'I''m crap' whenever I say the slightest thing that could remotely be percieved as criticism like 'Has DD4's nappy been changed?'.

It's so frustrating because I can see why it is, but have no idea how to stop it! Except for being depressed! It's making my happy times miserable