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Mental health

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Fed up of depression ruining/ruling my life!

4 replies

OracleInaCoracle · 07/05/2009 18:54

struggled with anorexia for more years than i care to remember, yet oddly never suffered depression until ds was born 4y ago. then bam. pretty much straight away i was in the pit. i was living life in slow motion while everything else was on fast forward. things got so bad that at one point i went to a bridge in my pj's, no slippers in the pouring rain ready to jump.

since then my mood has been v up and down, but tbh mainly down. i have yoyo'd on my ad's. "you can come off them lissie, oops, best get you back on. oops, best up your dosage. you can come off them again. lets try different ones now" i have seen an EDT for 4y and every time i get close to being discharged i stumble again and bam, back to seeing him once a week.

i have lost jobs because of it, had to quit jobs because of it and now it looks like i will have to retake 1st term of uni because i had another tumble last month. dont know what to do anymore. im so fed up of being so useless and shite and fed up of the strain that i have put dh and ds under.

OP posts:
OracleInaCoracle · 07/05/2009 19:01

all ive ever wanted was to be a mother, and i cant remember most of ds's life. how fucked up is that?

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Surfermum · 07/05/2009 19:07

I'm posting and running as I'm just about to go out, so don't think I'm ignoring you if you don't get a reply straight away!

Are you well when you are on the ad's? Is it worth considering just staying on them? I've been on them for probably 15 years now. I tried to come off twice but got ill again both times, so now I just stay on them at a full dose.

If you met me you'd have no idea I suffered with depression. They keep me really well and functioning, I get absolutely no side effects and I plan to stay on them for good.

OracleInaCoracle · 07/05/2009 19:21

thank you surfermum. my EDT thinks i may have to just stay on them. im ok on them for a few months then i usually need the dosage upping. dh think that this is down to him. it breaks my heart. i feel so guilty

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OracleInaCoracle · 08/05/2009 09:47

feeling v low again today. cant get into gp's for more ads. im so frustrated.

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