Terrified of driving plus history of anxiety

[nakushita]

I passed my test over a year ago because I wanted to be able to drive when I had DS. However, I only recently began to drive on my own and I am terrified. I sweat, shake, literally my head clouds up and I sometimes am sitting at the traffic lights at the head of the queue and forget how to drive?!?

Anyone conquered fear of driving? I have been taking Kira Valerien root to try to curb anxiety and have done some hypnotherapy (download from internet) to try to conquer this but yesterday I went out driving and made a million mistakes and also nearly hit a car when trying to park in a huge space.

Other days I can drive and park no problem even with the nerves but the next day it is as if I have never driven before...

It does get better as you drive more and get familiar with the routes you usually use. I was like you but have improved a lot, all down to time spent behind the wheel. I got really anxious when I was under pressure to learn to drive for a job, I ended up getting panic attacks and quitting the job as I had no way of getting there.

Since it is a year since you passed your test maybe a couple of refresher lessons might give you some more confidence.

You wouldn't have passed the test unless you had the skills to drive. I failed mine twice

I did. I'm not by nature a particularly nervous person, but had a real mental block with driving. I managed it by going out every day with no-one else in the care - initially just for a few miles with no right turns, and they building up to longer and more complex journeys. The journeys were planned for the driving experience, not because I wanted to go somewhere! I found it worse having someone in the car with me. It took a couple of months of doing this before I was reasonably confident. I also used to go and practice parking in quiet places.

I now drive daily, use motorways several times a week, and really don't think about it (although I don't think I'll ever be one of these people who enjoys driving).
Good luck, and do keep at it - it will get better.

Agree with suiledonn a few refresher lesson may help (much better than someone you know helping out IYKWIM)

Agree with Artic Lemming. However awful the prospect (I am a fellow sufferer of driving anxiety) you have to make yourself do it every single day. And then it really does get better. I totally understand what you are saying about progress being up and down between one day and the next but, believe me, the overall projectory will be up if you go out every single day!! The anxiety then becomes something that you are more in control of, rather than something that seems to come arbitrarily out of the blue. Accept that you will have good days and bad. That's totally normal. Just make sure you get in the car again the next day.

Remember - you can only change YOUR reaction to circumstances - not necessarily the circumstances themselves.

I'm never going to be totally at ease when behind the wheel, but I am a lot better than I used to be, and if I can make improvements, believe me (I was SO useless), anyone can!

Also try and make it as pleasant an experience as possible at first ie never go any where when you are under pressure, stick to easy routes in plenty of time, allow yourself to go the long way around to avoid a particularly nasty junction, reward yourself with a treat when you have accomplished a route successfully. Stop for a coffee and a cake!

Try not to dwell on mistakes - you didn't hit that car the other day - and you will have learnt from the experience. Ignore what everyone else "might think" and focus on your own goals. Think of the great role model you will be setting your ds (ie carrying on and succeeding despite fear.

And remind yourself that it far better for someone like yourself (anxious and cautious) to be on the road one year post-test than some lout that jumps behind the wheel, exceeds the speed limit and thinks they know it all!!

It honestly, honestly does get better and the benefits are worth all the traumas!! Good luck with it!!

Thanks so much for the positive and very reassuring replies. I am trying to stop going on to everyone about how much I hate driving and how scared I am to try to make myself think more positively. They're getting sick of me whining on anyway!

I drove to a relatives house yesterday who I have not seen for a long time - they only live about 15 mins away in the car! Everything was fine - I even managed road works, getting round a broken down car on the main street and a 3 point turn plus reverse parking! Felt much better after I got home but was exhausted from stressing so much about it.

Thanks for the great words of advice. You really really helped me!

That's brilliant news Nakushita.

[And whine away! That's what Mumsnet is for!!]

Seriously though, congratulations on getting to your relative's house. Don't minimise the achievement - so what if only 15 mins away - you coped with the stress of negotiating roadworks and a broken down car AND did a three point turn! Yay!!

Well done! Sounds like you've turned the corner. It's frustrating that no-one understands how difficult it is for some of us.