Those with PND, what are you taking for it?

[littleboyblue]

My gp prescribed me Fluoxetine, 20mg, one tab a day.
Is this a low dose?
I ask because my hv got ne the appointment with the gp, I went in, he told me how I felt and didn't give me much time to tell him how I'm feeling, he first tried to give me sleeping pills because I'm clearly just tired and frustrated. I said no way and he then just sort of tossed me the slip for anti-d's and said go back and see him next week.
I don't really want to take them, but kind of feel like I don't have the physical or emotional strength to keep pulling myself out of these difficult days, so maybe I do need something to help me through it.
Anyone else taking this?

bump

Did they do then test with you?

I'm actually about to start taking AD's again for PND second time round. I know it's fear of the unknown but I really did feel some much better once they'd kick and hoping the same thing will happen this time.

So sorry your feeling this way it is a just so horrible but for some of us just happens

That's the normal start dose lbb, you can get your meds/dosage assessed in a couple of months usually (they like to wait until its kicked in fully before upping) usually by 2 weeks you will have felt some change - I took same meds as you and it helped immensely.

Thanks Cranberry and ouch. I haven't taken the test this time. I did with ds1, but knew the key questions and lied

I think I had pnd with ds1 but was able to carry on mostly as normal. My behaviour changed dramatically but I was able to justify my actions and thoughts with proper reason. Or so I thought at the time.
This time, there are 2 of them, 20 months and 11 weeks and it's not easy! ds2 has colic and ds1 is going through the seperation anxiety thing. Ds2 cries all the time which upsets ds1 who then cries, then I cry, then I want to pack up mine and ds's stuff and move out because I'll turn it all around so it's dp's fault and it just can't go on.
I do feel like a bit of a failure, but deep down I know I'm a good mum, so hopefully the ADs will help

You are not a faliure,I'm sure your a fantastic Mum

My DR is lovely and she explained again to me how it's a chemical imbalance, we have to control over it and it effects some and not others, we just have to except it, except that the AD's are there to rebalance ourselves and we'll back back to our old selves soon (I've been giving myself this pep talk today)

I'm going to start my AD's in the morning x

Thanks. I'm starting in the morning too. And, yes I am a good mum, I love my ds's more than anything in the world, but struggle to find the time to fully enjoy them iyswim. I also know it gets easier as you come out of the colic phase and all the other issues with a new born. But it's hard to remember to remind yourself about these things and hard to sometimes keep the logical sensible side of my brain to work! I've spent the past few days trying to get dp to break up with me because it annoys me that he can calm and settle the children easier than I can.......Crazy stuff
I forget that come the evening, the boys must look at me and think 'God, you've been there all day. Oh look, there's someone different......' That's all it is, they get bored and fed up with me, the same way I'd get bored and fed up if I spent 13 hours a day every day with dp.

Hopefully we'll both start feeling better soon I really want to enjoy this summer with my boys instead of feeling physically ill everyday and screaming like a fish wife at them!

I seem to get late onset PND, both times my boys have been/are over 18 mths, think I just keeping thinking it will get better on it's own.

I can at least see light at the end of the tunnel now.

It's good to talk x

I just did a google search on PND and read quite an interesting leaflet. There was a bit headed 'What it feels like to have PND' (the leaflet was more aimed at partners and families of those suffering I think) and as I was reading, I was going, 'yep, yep, got that, yep, yep, oh yeah when did I last eat dinner, do that, do that' was most odd.
I'm going to say something now that is really silly and irrational, but i am a little bit disappointecd in myself. I feel like I should be stronger and I feel a bit pathetic at the fact that I think I need medication to get through day to day life. I knew I felt crap after ds1, and I always had a little feeling I was suffering pnd with him, but was able to block it out and keep myself busy enough that I didn't really have time to think about it, and part of me knows it was likely to happen this time so kind of feel like I shouldn't have had another baby. How stupid is all of that?

It's not supid at all, I completely understand.

I have a 5 year gap between my two because I found motherhood extremely hard, not what I'd expect and was pretty much a wreak by the time my sister marched me to the Dr's after my first DS, it certainly took it's toll on my marriage and home life.

So finally life is good again, I'm back at work everything's rosy and I say "i want another baby"!! and here we are again 5 years on in the same shit state. I just feel it's so bloody unfair, why me and so guilty for putting my family through this again?

I took my first tablet this morning and of course feel more anxious than ever, expecting ever side effect under the sun, snapping at the kids and dh and feel this is all my fault even though I cnouldn't imagine life without either of my wonderful boys.

I just want to focus now on getting through the next few weeks and try to stop worrying

We'll both get there. The fact that we have accepted that we are not coping as well as we could I think is a massive step on it's own, and the fact that we have been sensible and level headed enough to seek help from those available is also anoter major step in the right direction.
There is an 18 month age gap between my 2, I am mad aren't I?!
It also upsets me a bit that I know I will never ever put myself or my family through this again, so no more babies.
Sometimes I think it migt help if I returned to work so had something else in my life iyswim, but at the same time, I don't want to be away from my boys and dp has committed to wrking as hard as he can so I can stay at home because that's what I wanted (most of the time )
I'm not so much wrried about the side-effects at the moment as I'm thinking I'll jump off that bridge when and if I get to it, and I'm now just telling myself that although I don't want to take the meds, I am doing what is best for my family. I have no doubt that if something doesn't change soon, I will be a single parent . I am taking AD's to ensure I stay in the best possible frame of mind to not push my partner away. I find it very hard to get him to understand how I feel because he thinks I think too much, that I should just relax and let be what will be and stop trying to place blame on things that happen or how I feel. He tells me I shouldn't feel guilty about taking meds. After all if I had an ear infection, I'd take AB's and if I had a headache, I'd take paracetamol, and it's no different. I feel a bit down, so I take AD's.......I don't think it's that simple, but that would be the PND negativity I think.
I also want to start feeling a bit better and want to get back to enjoying my ds's. I was saying to dp, that all my time goes into looking after them, that I find I don't have the time to enjoy them anymore.
I am also unable to make the simplist of decisions. Mostly what should I dress them in? Should I do the hoovering or the ironing? What' for dinner. Hopefully all this will get easier in a few weeks.
For both of us and our families

How are you feeling? How's your day been?

I took my first tablet a 8am and by 1 felt so I rough I had to go to bed. My PND presents itself in me with many physical symptoms and it's as if they've all come at once. I had a sleep and my DH took us out for a late lunch which helped. He said I suffered a bit last time (I don't remember)for about a week so I guess I've just got to dig in

I really really hate this.

Oh no. Today wasn't a result of the tablet was it? This is how PND affects you normally? I took my first tablet at about the same time this morning. I've had to store them on the counter-top by the steriliser so I remember to take them. I've been ok today, but after quite a few bad days, think I was due a good day anyway. It was days like today that were giving me hope and made me think it wasn't PND, but was/is always followed by a day of utter dispair! Dp took ds1 out this morning and ds2 has been asleep all day (pretty much) so it's the first day we have reached bedtime and I don't already have a headache!
For the past 11 weeks, I have been putting ds2 to bed and dp doing ds1, I have asked him if we can alternate the evenings so I/we aren't getting quite so frustrated. Although ds1 needs someone to sit with him while he drifts off atm, it's not quite so frustrating if it's not the same child iyswim.

I have been telling myself today, that I am now officially on AD's and have taken a huge step to making our lives more positive. I hope that little mantra works tomorrow.

I'm sure the meds will kick in soon and things will get easier. I'm sorry you felt so rough today, tomorrow can only get better though, hey?

Well, I spoke too soon! Me and dp swapped ds's for bedtime, bare in mind I have prob bathed ds1 twice in 11 weeks and 3 times during pregnancy at most, so we splashed and laughed, when I was getting him dressed for bed, he got some tickles and some raspberries on his belly which he loves. Dp finishes with ds2 and comes out saying something like I shouldn't let ds1 splash in the bath because it's too loud, he doesn't let him do it, blah blah blah. I told him I'd never asked him to be quiet and baby sleeps through alot more during the day.
But heart rate quickens, I can feel my blood boiling, I instantly feel exhausted, too much to even cry, I start to feel very heavy like I'm being crushed. 5 mins ago, I was starving and looking forward to dinner and a glass of wine, then I was thinking if someone so much as mentioned food I might be sick. So I put ds1 to bed, quicly sterilised some bottles and then got into bed. I missed Britains Got Talent and CSI:NY which I look forward to every week, but most importantly, I suddenly felt so crap, I couldn't stand to be anywhere near dp. Going straight to bed means I have been in the same room as at least 1 ds for over 24 hours.
#now, 7 hours later, I still feel angry and upset. I don't expect dp to creep around me, but I do expect him to realise, especially after being told, that sometimes I feel like the worlds worst mother, that at times I am now unable to think and act like a normal person and need a bit of extra love and support. And he wants to knock me

Cranberry - Hope you're feeling a bit better today. I feel a bit 'dark' today. I seem to be feeling worse now I've accepted it's PND and not just tiredness. It's almost like over the past few days, I've stopped fighting it and just can't really be bothered to do anything at all.
Dp wok me at 9 this morning to ask if I wantedf to go to the car boot, I said it was a bit late for al that by the time I'd be ready, so he took the boys and went on his own. Part of me is hoping they are screaming their heads off

The other thing that's really hard is that I look at ds1 and am overwhelmed at the love, joy and adoration I feel towards him, and then I look at ds2 and although I do feel love, I also feel guilt and pity. I remember feeling like this with ds1 too, so know it'll get better. I didn't get that big rush of love for ds1 until he was about 5 months and could sit up on his own and hold some toys and things.
I posted on here the other day, because I was holding the baby and fell over. He hit his head on the wood floor, while he was still in my arms, and I wasn't going to take him to the hospital. Only because I thought/knew he was fine. They are more resilient than we think they are and ds1 fell off the sofa when he was quite small (yes I am that clumsy and stupid), anyway I got a mini-flaming like I was risking ds2's life, but I knew he was ok. He didn't fall from a great height, he hadn't passed out, his behaviour was normal etc so I wasn't going to go. About an hour later, I called dp at work nd told him to come home to take us to the hospital, so I came through in the end, but i feel really awful about it now and can't seem to forget it. Like I said, deep down, I knew he was fine, if I thought otherwise, I'd have ran to the hospital with a child under each arm, but maybe the fact that I hesitated to take him, shows I am unable to think and act like a normal person, and that frightens me.
I would never see any harm come to my children, of course, but I'm thinking, what if I hadn't taken him and he'd died.
Tell me this is the depression talking and I'll be better in a few weeks

~Honey I promise you it's the depression It will gett better, I came out the otherside last time and we both will this time.

When I had PND with DS1 I once shut him in the bathroom because he wouldn't stop crying and I thought I might hurt him, I had to call my sister to calm me down. I hit his head on the coffee table swinging him round and fell over the bench in the Dr's and factured my elbow, I'm very clumsy, haha. He's a very bright boy so clearly didn't do him andy damage

Because I recognised the signs this time I didn't get quite that bad but I come close some days to loosing the plot!
I am definately more blahsay with DS2 that's the same for all Mum's.

You know men aren't very good at handling us when we're like this, my DH just keeps asking if I'm alright,I say "no I feel dreadful" and then he just carries on, he just doesn't know what to do. My Dr says they don't understand.

Just taken my 2nd tablet, still feel dreadful but will keep going, DH said he remembers me being unwell for a few days last time.
It's gone very quiet in the garden so must go check on the little one xx

Thanks Cranberry. I'm finding off-loading to you is helping too. I'm thinking about speaking to doc about some counselling sessions too. They offered them to me during my pregnancy (this one), because the mw felt I was suffering PND from my first baby. All because she said I'd have to have this baby in the same hospital I had the last one in and I cried! I did tell her I'd had an awful experience at the hospital the first time round (in hindsight I think it was the fact I didn't know what I was doing also, being first baby and all.....), she got the gp to come in and I just sat there and cried. I explained that ds1 had been up for 3 nights in a row teething, we'd just moved about 3 weeks ago and I didn't know anyone in the new area, I'd just had to re-house my dog, ds1 was turning 1 year old and everything was all happening at once. The gp agreed PND but was reluctant to put me on drugs because I was pregnant, but I got an NHS appointment with a counsellor but didn't go. I was just tired and lonely, not depressed............so she told herself, but maybe I was.

I tried to explain to dp earlier how I felt now I had accepted it's PND, told him now I have a reason to feel just 'meh' about everything, I feel like I don't want to fight it anymore.......hopefully the acceptance won't stop me fighting these next few weeks until the meds start working.
Today and yesterday have been lovely. It's the first time I haven't felt like I've been in a constant battle with myself and now not sure how tomorrow's gonna work when dp goes to work. The same as every other day has worked I know, but I wonder if it'll be a bit harder now I've accepted the fact I have PND or whether I'll go back to feeling how I did yesterday, that I've taken a positive step and that's the important thing.

I used to regularly put ds1 in his cot, shut the door, turn on the hoover and have a fag at the bottom of the garden. I knew I'd never hurt him and I know I'd never hurt ds2, but I suppose when you get worked up and flustered yourself, us naturally clumsy people get a bit more unsteady!

You said in a PP that your dh said it took about a week last time, not too long to go then hopefully.
On the plus side we both know from experience it gets better and easier.
I'm thinking of starting a diary so in a few years when this is all a fading dull memory, I can read exactly how I'm feeling now and hopefully never think I want another one. But let's get through this bit before I let my mind run away with itself

Glad to hear you've had a better few days, the sunshine helps

I'm still feeling pants After dropping DH at the airport (he's back tomorrow) I spent the rest of the day just laying on the sofa, DS1 has been ans angel and DS2 cried allday and eventually fell asleep on my lap at 6:30 so it's lovely and peaceful now. I'm going to make the most of my evening to myself and catch on all my soaps I record.

Onwards and Upwards, here's to a good Monday x

I hope I'm not intruding, but i'm taking sertraline for my PND at the minute but I took fluoxetine when pregnant and for the PND I had after my DS was born 7 years ago.

Just wanted to say that PND really sucks and I'm sorry to hear that both of you are suffering, but I've had it before and got through it. It took me about four weeks to really feel that the meds were working well when I was on fluoxetine before. I didn't like the effect it had on me though, in that it made me feel like a zombie and completely flattened out my emotions to the point that I was neither happy nor sad, just existing.

I'm now taking sertraline, mainly as it's better for BFing than fluoxetine, and am finding that it has a much nicer effect on me than the fluoxetine.

Anyhow, I hope that both of you are doing OK and that the better weather is helping. I would also suggest that you ask your GP to refer you for some talking therapy as I found this, alongside the tablets really helped.

Bear in mind that not all meds suit all people, and that if they aren't helping, or even making you feel worse, please see your GP about switching to something else.

I'm now six months post partum and really feel like I'm back to my normal self....as long as I keep up with the meds. It's going to be a while yet before I'm ready to stop them though

Cranberry sorry you had a rubbish day. It will only get better though, with each day we get through is a day closer to the tabs kicking in, so nearly there (hopefully).
Hope you have a good evening, I've just had to throw my dinner away as couldn't face eating. Again. I don't remember when I last ate a half reasonable dinner that was not chocolate and popcorn, and even those I can't manage a full bar/bowl anymore.......Might pop some toast in in a minute. I'm going to catch up with Desperate Housewives tonight.

LackaDAISYcal Thanks for advise there. When doc prescribed Fluoxetine, he didn't actually speak through any side effects, how they work, if they were the best one for me to take, he just kind of tossed the slip at me. He is a bit crazy though, he also told me to 'just' go on holiday..........and even after I told him ds2 was 11 weeks old, he said in 8/9 weeks, give him proper food to get him sleeping through........
I have an appointment tomorrow with another gp in the surgery that I'm going to go over all my concerns with. I have written a list so I don't forget anything.
Thanks for the warning on the flat emotions with this drug though, will keep an eye on it. It's def how I've felt over the past few days, just nothing really, I just don't really care if that makes sense (not about ds's of course, but everything else.....)
Glad you're feeling better, and I hope you're ready soon.
Thanks again for support and encouragement there, and of course you're not intruding, just no one else wants to speak to us

Meant to say, after I saw the crazy doc, I went straight to my hv who got me the appointment on emergency and told her what happened, she had the prescription checked by another gp and told me she thought I should take them, we talked for just over an hour, she told me she felt exactly the same after having her dc's but it was different back then, she is really nice. But even then I didn't start taking them for another 3 days.

IT's an odd feeling littleboyblue.....the numbness you are feeling now, I had as a result of the depression......the numbness from the meds felt different. I have always been someone who cries at sad things on TV, babies being born, weddings, all the usual soppy stuff. The fluoxetine took that away from me....I felt like I wanted to cry, but the tears just wouldn't come....to the point that I didn't feel like me iyswim.

The doc you saw sounds a bit unsympathetic and as mad as a box of frogs. I hope the other GP is better and has a bit more of an understanding about PND and what it means. Please tell the other GP what he has said, especially about the weaning.

Is there a perinatal MH service in your area? I was referred to the local mother and baby unit who have been fantastic, but not all areas have this service unfortunately. We also have a mental health nurse attached to the HV team who is available on clinic days to talk things over. I'd hate to think where I'd be without the support I've had.

Things will feel better once the meds kick in though

I have been known to cry at adverts (!)
I agree, I wouldn't want all my emotions 'taken away' or numbed to the sense you've experienced.
I will tell the different gp tomorrow what happened and I'm seeing hv again on tuesday too so see what they both say regarding MH.

Morning, just a quick check in

Littleboyblue - hope things go well at the Dr's today. I started on Fluoxetine last time and was bouncing of the walls so changed, everyone reacts differently so give it some time, hopefuly the Dr today will explain this. Just remember this is not your fault, it's a chemical imbalance that we have no control over.

lackadaisycal - thank for talking to us Looks like we've both had/got PND after both our children. I have come to the conclusion that this just the way my body responds to having a child. I've had my hormones checked and they are definately out of wack so that may be the cause, who knows.
Made me smile at your comment 'mad as a box of frogs' my friend always says 'useless as tits on a bull' which makes me chuckle

As for me today, had another unsettled night, feel a bit shaking,have a headache and feel sick but will keep pushing on, blah! x

Oh, Cranberry I'm so sorry you're feeling physically unwell, I don't think I could handle that one as well!
I didn't sleep too well either last night, don't know why, wasn't thinking about anything in particular, just couldn't sleep. Nevermind, can only get better

hi cranberry; sorry you are feeling so rough this morning. iirc there are a few side effects from starting to take the tablets but they settle down after a week or so.

I would love to keep talking to you both but I am in the process of changing my internet service provider and am probably going to be losing my internet connection very shortly for as long as 10 days .

I'm going to start a support thread for PND when I'm back online though......infact I might do it before this connection goes down....so I hope to speak to you both soon.

Take Care and remember it'll get better in a few weeks