Worried about PND - need confidence to talk to GP...

[stirlingstar]

I'm worried that I've got a touch of PND, or am wobbling on the verge of it (have 15 week DS2). I plucked up the courage to talk to HV about it about 10 days ago. She said she'd refer me to a post-natal support group but haven't heard anything further yet. Think I might need to go and talk to GP and ask for help, but am scared about doing so (and also scared about what might happen if I don't get help from somewhere).

My coping mechanism is to put a brave face on things and tell everyone I'm fine, esp if I'm nervous. Am scared that I'll go to GP, try and talk about my worries re PND, and he'll say 'you're fine, stop being silly and get on with life'.

Any advice? Or just some moral support?? TIA

Moral support from me

I have 3 DCs = 3 bouts of PND and have never had a GP tell me that (I did have a locum say something similar about my AND, but I complained to the MW, who was and and went back to my own GP who was lovely and treated me accordingly), they have always been helpful (friendly would occasionally be going too far!) and understanding, and have offered ADs and counselling.

With DS3 I think it was my HV who sent me to the GP anyway, and if your HV is concerned enough to refer you elsewhere you shouldn't be afraid of your GP.

Well done for taking the first steps - you will get through it - and take care

well done for talking to the MW, I'm sure she is full of good intentions re the support group, but in the meantime please go asap to the GP -- mine was great and very supportive when I self-diagnosed PND (with help of MN), and that was such a relief. And pretty soon I was feeling loads better and enjoying my baby.

Just be brave and say what you feel: or print out your OP.

It sounds like you are doing what so many mums do and wearing that mask to tell the outside world you are fine - when you know deep down you are not. you really need to see the dr, please dont' try to cover it up or ignore it, it won't go - I know because I wore that mask and things nearly went very wrong.

if you go to this PND support site and look under their useful resources area, you will find a letter that mums can print off and tick the boxes to take to their gp - it makes life easier than trying to find the right words in a short appointment time.

Its very unlikely that your gp will tell you to go and get on wiht it but IF that ever happened you must seek another opionion - you are your own best judge that something is NOT right.

good luck xxx

I was exactly the same regarding the 'brave face'. My job is in mental health as well so I really felt I couldn't admit to feeling as low as I did. I found it extremely difficult even to admit it to myself.

Going to the gp was the best thing I could have done and they have been very good and supportive, as was my HV.

Please just go pluck up the courage from somewhere and go and talk to them. You will hopefully feel relieved once you have and will see that there are options available so you can start to feel better.

I spoke to my gp and hv on wednesday about this. My ds2 is 11 weeks old. When he was first born, I suprised myself at how well I was coping, but gradually I started having more and more 'bad days' but always said why is it that I can't just be in a bad mood? If I hadn't recently had a baby, I would just be pissed off, so why now is everyone (my post-natal thread) telling me I have PND? It's a bit OTT isn't it just because I'm annoyed at dp all the time, I get frustrated with ds1 (20 months), I can't face going to the supermarket some days' and so on.
I went to my gp and had the most strange conversation i think I have ever had in my life. I walked in and he said all that, what can i do for you stuff, so I cried and said I was feeling really down and wasn't coping, and that I felt like I was standing at the bottom of a very deep, very dark hole. He then went on and said i am clearly strong minded so he thought I was just very tired and frustrated and I should just go on holiday I told him I was living in the real world and it's just not that simple is it? He then suggested sleeping tablets i told him I don't really have a problem going to sleep, it's actually getting into bed and staying there that is the problem and there was no way I was taking sleeping pills while my children were in the house in case it meant I slept through them needing me. He said tat as my first thought was my dc's, that was a clear indicator that i was fine and i just need to go to bed and let someone else look after dc's for a few hours. So i cried (that howling, desperate cry) and told him that it was more than that, i hadn't gone for AD's, that I didn't even know why I was there, but that I needed something to pull me out of this pit of despair as I wouldn't have the physical or emotional strength to keep doing it.
He gave me some AD's, but didn't discuss how to take them, how long I might be on them, how I'd come off them, what if any side effects I might experience and what to do if there are any, he kind of tossed the slip at me and said 'come back next week', so I left feeling worse than when I went in! I went straight to my hv and told her, she got the prescription looked at by another doc who said they were suitable to take, that I should start to feel better in 2-3 weeks and that once I started to feel better, I should stay on them for a few months and then they would lower the dose and get me off them gradually.
I don't want to take AD's, but like I said, I feel so drained, I think I need a kick-start to get back on track.

I think the thing is, you know you're not fine, and if you've accepted that, you're half way there anyway. If the doc says you're fine and don't need any help, keep pushing for it. You may not need medication, maybe some counsilling(sp?) or maybe both? I think when I go back next week (to see a different doc) I might ask to be refferd for some conselling sessions too as talking really does help doesn't it?

littleboyblue - sorry you've had such a negative experience. Can you see a different doctor next time? Some of them are so shit, honestly!

You sound as if you are capable of standing up for yourself, but lots of people aren't. Hope you're feeling better soon, anyway.

I was given a fantastic service when I went, including excellent counselling which I got fairly quickly.

Thanks Raspberry Blower. The doc was a bit crazy. I told him ds2 was 11 weeks and he told me, I'll use exact words..."All you have to do is get through the next 8 or 9 weeks when the baby will start getting teeth and you can give him proper food to get him sleeping through the night........" wtf?

I have days where I am strong enough to create and stand up for myself, but then I have days where I just don't think I'm worthy of anything at all. Lucky for me, I must have been having a close to strong hour as I went straight to my hv who is lovely.

Crikey littleboyblue - that was awful treatment from the doc. Really well done for going though. The experience of a mounting number of bad days is kind of like what I'm having, and starting to feel quite out of control of when I'm coping vs not coping.

I called HV on Friday to follow up initial conversation - she actually remembered who I was on the phone (I was amazed...) and she's going to follow up on getting me a place on a post-natal support group on Mon and also coming round later in week for a couple of 'listening visits' - think this might be a kind of 'counselling lite', but thought I'd try it out. So might hold out on going to GP and see if I feel like things are progressing with HV support this week. Thanks so much for all your kind words - they mean a lot.

That sounds good, at least you're getting support from hv.
When I was pregnant with ds2, the mw thought I may have been suffering PND from when ds1 was born, at the time he was 13 months old, so she made me see the gp. I told him I was just really tired, we'd just moved, I'd just lost my dog, ds turning 1 was a bit overwhelming, my pregnancy immediately after a m/c and so on, I thought it would be normal for anyone to feel a bit down. I did not tell him I'd felt low on and off since ds1 was born.
When there was only one of them, it was easier to fight and control iyswim.
Just because you talk to gp, doesn't mean you have to start taking meds.
What if you went to see doc this week, told him how you feel, your reluctance to treat with AD's, you just want to make him aware and would like to be monitored over the next few weeks to check for improvement. This is what happened during my pregnancy, I saw the gp once a week for 3 weeks. He decided counselling would be best for me so made a refferal. I didn't go. I should have.

Stirlingstar - that's good, well done. HV will presumably tell you if she thinks you need to see the GP. Good luck.