How do things ever get better?

[TheMitsubishiWarrioress]

Long complicated story....

My DS has been seen by social services due to anger management issues, which were IMO partly due to his Dads inability to deal with him.

His Dad agrees. And also has IMO anger management problems.

I said I had had enough and thought our marriage was at an end.

He threatened to just leave without telling anyone else.

To just go.

I then found out he had asked our daughter 'to try never to forget him'.

I found what could only be described as a draft of a suicide note.

I have backed down because the guilt and childrens pain was too much to bear.

DS's social worker has referred me to the Community mental health team. And asked the childrens father to speak to his doctor. He has been and said the doctor doesn't see the point of his visit. Which suggests he has been lose with the details. Which makes me feel and look like a moron, who is apparently losing her marbles.

I am on 40mg citalopram.

I am trying go improve life for our DC's. we don't have much money and have ongoing health issues.

When is enough enough?

Oh Mits
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thanks........

There has to be a way of you not backing down.

Oh Toot......

I am hardly in a place to make any kind of decision at the moment. Especially not one that affects my childrens well being so directly.

I still feel 'OK' when I am on my own....almost 'normal' .
Like a proper person who can function normally.

I know it is hard right now, and there are so many things you are dealing with. Just don't give up...ppostpone the next bit while you build yourself up.
It can happen and it will happen and you will be free and happy.

Oh, no friend of mine can be 'normal'

Well obviously...you wouldn't be able to relate to them if they were would you...[sticky out tongue emoticon]

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i feel for you i really do,
my daughter died in 2005, and believe me i hit rock bottom with a bang!
what kept me going was my DP and my other children, they could not cope without me.
the best bit of advise i was given was the saying "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger."
after hitting rock bottom, like you feel, just think to yourself when things go wrong, hey i have had worse days.
i hope this helps sorry if it doesnt

Oh gardeningmum, I am so sorry

thankyou tooticky...appreciate the message

Oh gardeningmum, how devastating, and I do agree with your 'what doesn't kill you doesn't make you stronger'.

I am so sorry for your loss...

I find it hard though being in the position to have to choose to do something painful. The things in my life that have happened TO me, however painful, have been of a different nature to knowing that my own choice for my own peace of mind would cause so much pain.
I don't know how real the threats were but the horror of knowing and it being a reality...how do you deal with it?

It takes my breath away.

I am still hugging you Mits xx

i think you need to talk to the counsillor your sons social worker recommended. it sounds to me that you have too much to deal with, your head must be full to bursting. there is no shame in asking for help, we all have to at some point,if things are bad for us.
some people drift through life without bad things happening, then unfortunately theres us
have you a friend you can talk too
take care